Notes

Dear people, April 17, 2018
I hope you read this because its very important. I was deciding weather to or not to kill/stab myself. I have very many reasons why I should, so I'm going to tell you them since I'm already either in the hospital or dead. 1st reason is my dad. I wish you would never get angry at me and make me feel scared. Most of the nights I'm mad or scared is because of you. I would cry myself to sleep and I wish you understood what was going on in school. I'm sorry I disappointed you with my grades. I know how much you would get mad at me and that is one of the reasons why I did what I did. I still love you lots and I will miss the way you used to make me laugh when you were in a good mood. I feel like I disappointed you and I'm sorry I couldn't be the daughter you dreamed of. 2nd reason why is because of my brother. you didnt play a big roll but you have a part. I hated the way you would talk about me to your friends. I know I was annoying to you and I'm sorry. I still love you lots and I will miss your funny humor that will forever make me laugh. 3rd is my mom. she never did anything wrong. you would piss me off hear and their but like always you are much loved by me. I also feel like I disappointed you and I'm sorry. I know you tried your best to make me and Kaito happy and you truly did even if we didnt show it. 4th is because the kids at my school. i really dont understand why bringing people down is so amusing because it really isnt. I wish kids at my school will realize that its all fun and games till someone gets hurt (referring to me). 5th is Jazzy chan. i have had multiple attempts to try and kill myself but she made me re-think it every time. it wasn't her job to keep me alive but she always made sure i was ok and safe. she did more than anything i can ask for in a friend. i wish one of my family members would do the things she does to make me feel like i have a reason to live. but jazzy was the only one who i felt like she truly loved me. I'm sorry I'm gone or maybe I'm not but i want to let you know, if i die its not because of you. And this to everyone who i cared for, dont blame yourself for my death (if i die) because you couldn't change a thing the past is in the past and this is just how i wanted to do it. i dont know if i want to stab myself swallow pills or fall off my roof. I guess you will find out ( i think pills are my best choice) i love you guys
yours truly,
Leah Jolie Sparacin