So, I've been friends with this girl for like.. 3 years now. I met this one girl in school and she asked me to talk with her and her friends, so I did, but I got ignored and all so I said I had to go and left. She asked again and I alms or didn't go but I decided to give it another try. I go and it's just her and her other friend. My best-friend. Well the girl had to go and my friend said that I should email her and I really liked her, compared to the other girl who was really rude, she included me in every conversation. Which, drove the other girl mad but my friend didn't care. She was just smiling and laughing at everything. Every email or message I asked how she was she said "Amazing!! :D" I'd prefer the answers not be "people change" because I know that, we've both changed, and talked about it, but at this time nothing has changed. Besides her attitude. As the years went on, we became more open and I told her about bankruptcies going on, she told me about all her problems, it was perfect. Suddenly it changed. It first changed by me saying "it just gets a little annoying when nothing goes right when I need it to the most.." And she replied with "Seriously? Think of others. People in Africa with nothing! Even animals with nothing!!" She KNOWS more than anyone else how I feel about that stuff. She knows it breaks my heart. I know there's always someone who has it worst. That's one of my mottos I live by! I always believed even she had it worse than me. No matter what I went through. Then it became, if she said her problem to me, I would give her advice, and I'd let her know I know how it feels and if I tell her what happened. Because if I told her my problems she'd make hers sound worse. I wouldn't do the same, because I wasn't like that. I'd just show in my way, that I could relate. I had an old friend that did that. I'd say "my dad is 50!" And she'd say "yeah, well my dad is 54!!" It's kinda pointless arguing and trying to make yourself the center of every conversation. Well she suddenly expressed one day and said "every time I say my problems you always have to go make yours sound so much worse!" And I just calmly said "Me? I thought you did. I mean, you kinda just told me about what happened to your friend, and look at that message closely. You said "my mom and I started crying. because it might happen to us" not "my mom and I started crying. Because seeing our friends like that broke our hearts..." Do you see?" And she said "Oh" And she later on, doesn't message me back, uses the excuse that she was grounded. Believed it. Does it again, wasn't allowed on. Believed it. Does it again, she had to be focused on her assembly, even though she talked to me every day of it the past 2 times, once each year. Skeptical. Does it again, she was "grounded" and got the password for her Facebook "changed" and had just gotten back. Extremely skeptical of that. Does it again, she read my message but didn't know how to respond, so left it, forgot to respond, and was waiting for a message from me, and seeing no new messages made her not message me. Didn't believe. You wouldn't open it? Or see what the message says?Does it again, says I was too negative to be talking to, when in fact I stopped saying my problems because she wasn't caring at all. Didn't believe that. And she's currently ignoring me again, I'm waiting for the excuse. What she'll do is ignore me, come back, say sorry and throw out an excuse, talk for about two days and do it again. She said "Sorry. I've worn that word into the ground, haven't I?" I asked her "How come you keep coming back with excuses? That doesn't hurt me as bad as the fact I keep believing you and letting you do that to me over and over" I've told her "you said you'd treat me like your sister forever, now look at this" and she said "I know, it's terrible" The thing is, she has Instagram. I see her posts on my New Feed. She's been on all week, she even went on Facebook, read my message from the 4th, and pretended I still don't exist. She'll post pictures on Instagram with her friends, and still be stupid enough to tell me she was grounded! I told her the excuses are countless and never ending. I just wish this would stop, so I've been trying. My best-friend tells me it's not worth it she obviously doesn't care, my mom says it need to let it go and let God deal with her, my older brother (which I look up to so much, he's the male father figure in my life) says it's not worth it if it's hurting me or driving me insane (he says "I don't have friends and look at me, I'm fine. I've got who I need :)"), my sister says she's just being so fake and two-faced. My friend is 2 years older, my sister is 3 years older. The online school holds Live Lessons for 3 grades at a time, and my sister being only 1 year older, and my friend being in that online school for YEARS, my sister talked to her and said she was rude and seemed so fake. I met her 2 years later and my sister said "I know her.." I've gotten the hint this friendship should probably just end.. That's not that hard. The hard part is I cannot stop thinking about everything in my head. Non-stop! I'm always hearing our conversations, everything. I want to know even the polite words to message her to end it. I've sent her countless gifts as well as my mom has sent her family, and I've been promised gifts back and never got anything. I don't want anything from her. I just wanted a good friend. I've been through a lot and I really needed her and I messaged her begging and she wouldn't talk to me! It's almost been a month this time since our last conversation, which was a short quick awkward one after an argument the previous night.
I know this is HORRIBLY long, and if you read it all just thank you.. I want help. I want happiness. I want this to end or something! Thank you.. xx
