Notes

Thursday, May 3rd : 2018.. life still the same , I don't know if my life is bored;Or I am making it look like that ...
Maybe, just maybe, I can make it be a better life , I mean an enjoying life by enjoying every single day ; WHO THE FUCK IS THIS ? Benjamin Frankliiin Yoow ..Thiis is a good song .. YOU ARE A BUNCH OF FUCKING ASSHOLES , YOU KNOW WHY ? BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTTS TO BE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE ; YOU NEED PEOPLE LIKE ME ,YOU NEED PEOPLE LIKE ME SO THAT YOU CAN POINT YOUR FUCKING FINGERS AND SAY THAT'S THE BAD GUY ; SO SAY GOODBYE TO THE BAD GUY.
Such a wise speech from Tonny Montana .
So let's go back to life .. what shall I do to make it good enough to make my brain full of ideas and my body full of energy ?
I don't know even why I came and start writing this..
whenever I wrote a thought another one came from NOWHERE like I m stupid.
2pac feat sade-Jezebel , another good song to listen to when you feel some guilt , even I don't know why I feel guilty. when I woke up today, I wanted to have a good day , I wanted to try to enjoy every moment , I don't know where this feeling of guilt came . the only thing that made me feel happy today is the moment with Sihaam ; Black and little bit curly hair , soft white and lovely skin , I want to describe how her lips .. but my mind is unable to put it in words; all I keep thinking about is her eyes.. I don't know if she is really a human being or an angel came from the sky just to control my mind.. the eyes are hiding alot of hope in life . I don't know what have happened to my life since I saw her the first day . Things are getting serious right now .. I ll never forget about the first words I heard from her ; she is the girl I want to spen the rest of my life with , I see alot of hope and love on her eyes . She is the one.. But the problem is that I am broken . Hajar ..Damn ! I hate it when I start thinking about her. Hajar was the first girl I shared real love with , she was a lovely girl , and a deseptive one. Let's say she ll live inside of my mind till I get married and have a babygirl.. then I will forget about her , because I cared about her that way , and I was afraid that she will fall in love with another guy which is I was sure about and she did not show that side to me .. she wanted to play games and even that I cared about her and I knew that little bad girl inside of her .. she cared , but not for us , just for herself .
Anyway , I hope I can forget about her sooner , it's really bad that I m still thinking about her while she is in Paris having alot of fun .. she kept telling me that she is feeling love .. FUCK this shit . LIVING IN THE PAST WILL MAKE YOU ONLY A SLAVE OF YOUR PAST . Is not it better to enjoy the present and work for the future ? Well I think it's the better choice the live and profite from the FUCKING TWENTY-FOUR hour I have in my day .
Sihaam ya Siiihaam ..
Okay let me make it short , I think I started having some feelings toward that beautiful girl , I am sure about this .
I swear that as long as I m breathing I will work harder to make it , by make it I meant being a better me and go ahead at least I can be with her one day .. she is the only human who motivates me , whenever I saw her eyes I feel like I should be a better one so maybe one day I can be with her , I can't even wait to have her by my side ; she is the one , and as long as she is single I ll try to get closer to her mind and her heart .. I saw her for fucking 5 minutes and she took my mind with her again. I see her once a week and sometimes one time in month , whenever I see her ,like it's the first time I fall in love again again and again.
well , I hope that I am the one for her too..
'LIMZWJINLFO9RAYTZEWJOLTEHT' hhhh
so tired and sleepy , hope that tomorrow will bring alot of peace !!