Notes

I was once a young girl. Happy and content. Until I went there, I went to high school, just like every other teenager usually did. At first I was really excited, new teachers, new friends , new classes. I couldn't wait I had chosen lots of classes already and had been shopping for notebooks highlighters and pens last week they all looked super cute.


A week later
This has been my first week at high school it's been really exciting. I made a couple new friends, Chloe, Beth and scar. Chloe's my bestest friend she really loud and wild a little bit unlike me. At first I can seem a bit quite and shy but I guess once you get to know me you realise how weird and bubbly I really am and trust me I'm weird. Anyway Chloe is so fun to hang around with, she's a bit boy crazy, and yeah I know I can't say much but she's like REALLY boy crazy. There's these group of boys, the popular ones, and she at first like Charlie but then she liked C and now she likes Billie. Like apparently her and Charlie went out for a bit but then she didn't really like him much after they broke up so they just stayed friends. Then her a C spoke and started to become and thing until Billie cam along started texting her and she then told me she liked him. However secretly I have had a little crush on Charlie since Lower school but no one knows.

Anyway one day Charlie and his friends came up to me and Chloe and that's normal really because they are always talking to Chloe and flirting with her and they always walk home with her so that's normal, they always treated me like I was invisible though apart from the other day Charlie as,ed if I wanted to walk home abut Chloe said I was busy, that really annoyed me Chloe ruined my opportunity to walk home sigh my crush ughhh. Anyway one day they all came up to us and Charlie says to Chloe " will you go out with me this is your last chance" and oh my gosh Chloe's such a idiot she said no like seriously ?!! She said NO to Charlie ugh she's crazy. But omg what happen next left me giggling and as happy as a little girl. He then turned around to me and asks me out, and like obviously I said yes and he then said so I'm his girlfriend. Aaaaassh


Then however after all that happened Chloe kept calling me a cow and a bitch because apparently I stole her boy however she kept saying it in a joking way. She even said she was joking. But then walking between lessons I saw Charlie and he gave me a hug, which I was super happy about and like could cry of happiness, but then Chloe started acting weird she was really upset , and then she started saying I knoew she liked Charlie and having a go. But I never knew and I them felt awful for her but like obviously what could I do I loved him all my life nearly I ain't gonna dump him now. Anyway she then became really mad and annoyed at him but things were fine after that.

After school me Chloe and Beth all saw Charlie over the triangle again and he asked me to walk home so I said maybe, then me and the girls went to pick up the little kids and started walking home but by the time I had to go home we hadn't seen Charlie or anyone on there way where Chloe usually sees them :(.

Anyway things were fine for a couple weeks me and Charlie stayed together and I just loved him and we hugged during school and he walked me home after school for a couple days it felt good and Chloe got over her stripped and soon moved back to Billie again as usual.

However little did I know things with me and Charlie were about to change.

One week he began asking to start doing stuff sexually with him, and that all girls our age in our year had done it so I kinda felt like I had to do it like I wanted to be like everyone else , and I didn't want to annoy him or anything. However that changed everything. Charlie then began forcing me to do sexual stuff with him every week even when I didn't want to. I would tell him no, I would tell him to stop. But he wouldn't listen to me. Then things got worse he started hitting me and shouting at me saying I was worthless and ugly compared to pl the other girls. I never thought Charlie, my Charlie would ever be saying this to me. I loved him I really did and I thought he loved me too.

Then one day things became even worse than I thought they could. I went into school like I usually did and as soon as I walked through those doors, everybody stared at me and started whispering. I walked to my friends Chloe and Beth and asked them what's everyone whispering about, worried I had something in my hair or anything. The next words I heard hurt me, Chloe turns to me and says " your a dirty skank and a bitch" then I turn to Beth with tears in my eyes and she just looks my up and down like I'm a piece of shit.

I ran to the girls bathroom with tears streaming down my red face. A bunch of popular girl who had been doing their makeup before I interrupted all turned to me and one of them says " oh look girls it's the dirty slag wo fucked Charlie then got pregnant oh and did you hear she also has a std" another girl replied with "ewwww no wonder there's a hate page about her online". All the girls burst out laughing and walk out of the bathroom flicking their lucious long hair and high heels clicking.

I burst into tears I couldn't believe this, who would say this about me, who knows what me and Charlie did? I'm not pregnant. Quickly I ran into a stall, locked myself in and slid to the floor sobbing. I hated myself then ,I hated everything.

After about an hour or two I found the courage to go out and find Charlie. I walked up to him who atood with his friends in the canteen as always and as tears built up in my eyes asked "Charlie what's going on who's said all this I love you ?" :(. They all just laugh at her as a gorgeous tall blonde walk up to Charlie and smiles sweetly and he puts his arm round her waiste. "I don't know what to say rose, I'm sorry I guess". I ran out of school and to my favourite field round to corner, tears threatened to escape my eyes but I wouldn't let them.

As soon as I got there I went to my favourite tree swing and the tears all came out I sat on the wing and cried for hours. Even as sunset I refused to leave. However as midnight came I slowly dragged myself home. The police were there and my parents all sat in tears on the couch together. I went straight to my room and locked myself away changing into some comfy clothes and climbed into bed to sleep.

I stayed locked away for what felt like years i refused to eat and I began cutting myself I wanted to die I wanted it all to end. And one day my wish came true.

I cut once, twice and again and again and again until it was too much I ran out of room the only place left was my wrist I cut there. I was in a trance I didn't know what I was doing. I cut deep and hard. It didn't stop bleeding. The world me Became hazey, everything was a blur and then my life flashed before my eyes, as the last of my life the look of the cuts on my skin came into mind I was dying, slowly my world became black......


It's how I died. My mum found the note in my bedroom on the bed. The diary torn to shreds all on the floor, that was the end of me. That was me.