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Well, I am taking responsibility. It is up to me to get rid of the curse that hit Meredith with my car. I'm not superstitious, but... I'm... I am a little-stitious.
You spend your whole life trying to get people to like you, and then you run over one person with your car. [sighs] And it's not even one of the popular ones, and everybody gets on your case. Doesn't make any sense...
Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not like a compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised.
Yes, it is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username. And... I have a great one [types]. Little kid lover. That way, people will know exactly where my priorities are at.
People are always coming to me. "Michael, I have a secret. Your the only one I trust." No thanks, because keeping a secret can only lead to trouble. Like I was watching Cinemax last weekend. This movie, Portrait of a... Prostitute something. Secrets of a Call... More Secrets of a Call Girl. And the lead character, Shila, is framed for murder. She goes on the run and winds up working at a bordello in Malibu. I don't, I don't want to live like that. I like it here. I don't want to be Shila, I like being Michael Scott.
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