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Kalau saya boleh berkomentar, plot ini adalah sebuah plot yang sangat menggambarkan salah satu sisi kehidupan seorang detektif. Tetapi, mungkin lain kali bisa diingat untuk menelpon dahulu sebelum datang ya, Zaki. ;)
Penuturan plot dan alur sudah baik, namun deskripsi masih bisa dikembangkan sedikit lagi
sehingga tidak monoton. Yang saya maksud di sini bukan panjang atau detailnya, melainkan variasi bahasanya. Perhatikan juga cara menulis kalimat langsung yang benar.
Contoh: "Aku mau makan," ucapnya. "Tapi aku tidak tahu mau makan apa." Ia berlalu.
Selain itu, kalian sudah bagus. Pertahankan!
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