Notes

If you walk away from this phone, this will be the last time that I will ever speak to you.

All these years, you didn't tell me that you and Pepe were the reasons why our family is apart.
I'm sure it's the reason why he doesn't look me in the eyes.
I'll never judge you for wanting someone else, but you should have told dad. It would have been the mature thing to do.
You almost killed that man. You had 3 kids at home mom, and we needed you.
You ignored my dad when you were in that club, you left with Pepe instead of your husband and kids.
You weren't in that car with the kids you claim to love even to this day.

I lost another brother. Two in 2 years.
Alan went hungry and asked his friends for a dollar to buy some food.
My last conversation with him was an argument because of what you told him.
The news was broken on your birthday and you don't think that's a sign to change?
Nobody hates you, we just want you to change for the better.
You would think that a death would bring family together for the better.
Nobody hugged me. Nobody cared to check up on me. Nobody cared to even talk to me or give me a call back but I did all of this for y'all.
I had to look to cousins to figure out everything about my own brother's funeral.
I didn't even find out he was gone from my own family. I had to call someone first to find out.
We are disconnected and it's not a child's responsibility to fix that.

Dad and my cousins were the only ones that thanked Niyia for protecting me that day from a person that molested me.
YOUR OWN DAUGHTER. YOU INVITED MY ABUSER TO OUR HOME.
You disrespect me ALL the time, mistreat me and my girlfriend ALL the time and wonder why I don't come around.
Around others, you pretend to be nice to me and my girlfriend, but behind closed doors you abuse me mentally and emotionally.
You tell people that my girlfriend is the reason why I'm not around, but it's really you and our family. Our home does not feel like a home, our family is not a family. All of you are judgmental, all of you lie, all of you refuse to be truthful about yourselves and with other people.
This white god that you all pray to isn't going to save your soul or save your life.
You run away from the truth of it all, but the truth will set you free.
Not being honest and harboring all of these lies and hate will do nothing good for your life.

My life will go nowhere dealing with all of this.
And if you really loved me, you would let me go and you would change for the better for the sake of all of us.
Until that happens, this is goodbye.
I love you, but I wish you loved me as much as I love you.