Notes

I fucking hate it when people call suicide selfish. It's not fucking selfish.

People don't commit suicide because death is suddenly appealing, people take their own life because it's a preferable alternative to whatever suffering they experience now. A person jumping from a burning high rise is surely still afraid of the fall; It's not that they desire the fall, it's the terror of flames that makes them jump. A person can only spend so much time in the smoke surrounded by fire before their lungs are choked and their body seizes up. There's a limit to everything. It is not selfish to escape suffering.

Don't call it selfish, then. You cretins are trying to make me feel better, but you aren't succeeding. Depression isn't voluntary. Suicidal thoughts aren't voluntary. Declining mental health, in general, is not voluntary. Don't call it fucking selfish because nothing there's no selfishness in involuntary actions. He did try to get help. He probably considered how his death would affect others. All of that didn't matter enough. The flames were too hot.

He was one of my best friends. And he's gone. My life has been irrevocably changed, and all you numbskulls want to do is talk badly about him. You clearly don't know how to properly comfort someone. I did some things I regret the first time I lost someone. I choose not to repeat it. I have loved, and I have lost. More than you probably know. It may seem like I am "doing way better already!". I am not. I am still grieving, I just don't express it outwardly anymore. Do not dare think this is a free pass to tell me I am better off losing him.

He was not selfish, he was helpless.

He was my friend, and he always will be.