Notes

It's been a few hours since I felt lonely, thank you for your presence. Where were you yesterday? I watched your way for you to come, but even a leaf did not move. The times when you weren't around passed like shit, like the Turkish TV series that are broadcast on TV right now; overly mediocre. Everything has gained a different dimension with your arrival, look, this flowerpot didn't know what flower it was until yesterday, the sun forgot the window of our apartment, I didn't live good anyway, just because you weren't around. The guitar never came down from the wall it was hanging on, I was actually going to join it a few nights ago, you know? To the gas pipe right around the corner...
The 4th beer I drank did not allow this, unlike other people who drink beer, I think wisely when I drink it, although my sober state said, "Don't wait, Onur, she will not come back," but because my drunk state said, "She will come," I held on to life a little longer. I haven't seen you for a long time, I thought there was no hell in this life until you left my side, I was wrong. I thought of you every night, and then I lost myself. If a person loses someone that he cares more about than himself, he starts not looking at himself, seriously. I didn't look at the mirror in the bathroom, nor did I look at our old photos out of embarrassment, they always stayed in my drawer, and I got stuck at the old stop where I left you. I remember the directions all the buses went, I just don't remember where you went, so as not to follow and haunt you, so out of respect. I know for myself that if a man really falls for a woman, he will be in a position to do all kinds of disgrace. Every moment you hold your presence close to me, I will live even more, I will be more excited for life than a baby who opened his eyes today, and believe me, wherever I am, no matter how many obstacles or thousands of people pull me, I will somehow reach you.