Notes

hello.
my name is gerardo godinez and i hope it doesn't bother you but i don't know how to talk english the language i speak its unique it only makes sense in my mind which is why i talk to myself and have conversations with my brain i know its the left side of the brain that responds to me because the right one is so negative towards everything i ask myself about. I'm 18 years of age but the number just gets bigger while I'm still trapped on a ece book because i can't go pass the first page without knowing what is about. I do smoke marijuana what other people talk the stress reliever. i like to call it the drug that makes you happy that drug that makes you see more clear and notice who you really are. i like to do it but the people around me start to look at me like a low life like someone who don't mean anything. they can careless if i ever die they have a saying that the day i pass away it will be the day this world gets better and its true but i will be back. if someone out in space can hear me i just want to ask you for a big favor, and thats too stop giving me the drug that makes me live in the human world that drug that makes me feel like a human that makes me live a life. i don't want it anymore i just want to work very hard for you until i have enough to become an animal. i know ill be good because in the human world they told me I'm an animal and it makes sense because the moment i interact with someone they see a blank wall because they can't understand what i say so could i be a White Shark please i don't want to speak a language i don't want people to understand me and i don't want to understand people. it sucks its a bad experience to live. Have you ever had a dream that you woke up scared and you shared it with your dad because you know he will make you feel better. Well i had a dream where i started to run in my sleep i started to live another life fool of amazing things awesome and lucky opportunities that i will never have well when i woke up i didn't had a dad to go to, to ask or share with. my dad was stolen from me by a group of bad guys that didn't think twice about who he was but i have an awesome lovely mom that help me grow up strong and become a man since age 2. she always told me to be good and smart because the world and the humans that live in can be very hurtful and never show mercy towards someone. I thank the creator of the world for sending me a mom with superDAD powers because without her i would of been dead since the day i was born just like a cabbage that wasn't refrigerated or a baby bird that tried to jump of the nest and broke its neck because he didn't know how to work the wings that give him the chance to fly. I will always thank my mom for everything i owe her millions of dollars because she didn't just pay for the mother fee but also for the father fee she's nothing but gods hands she means so much like the statue of library to new york she's what keeps me going in this life i just want to be rich and hand it to my mom because she deserves it and i won't to do it because its my way to thank my mother for everything she ever had to do for me after i accomplish that i can careless what happens to me i can burn, die, or just get shutdown and wake up to a smile because i beat the video game and i completed the mission and continue with my own world. where i can be whoever i choose to be or even allow to be but don't read this like just a new story from a kid going through life problems this aint a message it just the way i think about all this because i don't know who payed to make a body and soul for me but i need an opportunity to talk to him because he's the only one that knows why i was given life because i can seem to solve it on my own I'm just a worthless mothafucker that works for money and fills a empty spot because thats all I'm capable of no more than that my brain will toast if i was to try to go ahead. I just want to know who put me in the capsule and got killed for making that mistake because i know i wasn't ready for this world with this much intelligence i know i wasn't suppose to be the one here in this body i know it had to be another dude because i can't even remember the last time i scored a 100 on a test. well I'm getting tired goodnight ill be back with more cruelty things to tell you guys about the human world. PEACE OUT!