Notes

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Conflict Management

At the broadest level, we define our identity by a couple of things:

-Who we're - our personality, our beliefs, values etc.

-What we all do - our actions, behavior, etc.

We want others to simply accept us the way in which we're and to take the way in which perform things. When either of those expectations is challenged, there exists conflict. Usually it's actually a play for power - sometimes there are other reasons...

All folks are unique - living in our own slice on the planet, imagining our perceptions and our beliefs to become absolute. Let's call these slices Reality-Slices, because that sounds really neat. Reality-Slices certainly are a bit like multiple dimensions from the same space, conveniently allocated to each human in order that they get to feel important they have got their unique bit of Reality-Slice estate.

When Reality-Slices intersect as people get together head-on, there is some friction. navigate here refer to this as conflict. When the Reality-Slices are aligned somewhat better, we call that collaboration.

Conflict isn't complete opposite of Collaboration. In many cases, it's simply a young stage inside the relationship. Remember the storming stage in teams?

It will now not a surprise for your requirements there are generally two kinds of conflict:

Don't end up like this - associated with others owning an trouble with who were

Don't try this - in connection with others using an problem with what perform or how we all do it

If yourrrre still surprised these are the only two types of conflict, go back to the beginning of this you just read the first few lines again.

Avoidance

So now you ask: if conflict is indeed commonplace and natural, so why do we skirt around conflict and prevent it much like the plague? Well, you'll find basically two reasons:

-You wouldn't like to take away the mask - when there is conflict, the friction can generate feelings of resentment, irritation and rejection. Rather than disclosing such real feelings, people have a tendency to either stay away from the conflict situation or pretend all is okay and in order. In some cases, people use withdrawal to shield themselves.

-You don't want negative consequences - people worry that conflict and conflict escalation may cause injury to a relationship, to organization morale, to the status quo. More importantly, this might then lead to negative personal consequences. In organizations, a typical situation is the place managers avoid confronting staff on performance issues because they don't want to damage their bond or their popularity as a manager. There is also this worry that the conflict may fire up a hornet's nest of other conditions.

Conflict Triggers

Knowing that conflict is caused by friction between Reality-Slices can be a useful starting insight but it's now time for you to take a look at more closely with the surface where the friction occurs - zooming in for the specific triggers of conflict.

Let's get back on principle varieties of conflict:

a) Don't be similar to this

Here the key conflict triggers are Expectations of Behavior and Expectation of Values. Examples of this are "You are not the individual I was hoping choosing" or "I felt choosing somebody who understands value of time but I am really disappointed". We really want people to become we'd want them to and also to adopt a persona that people craft for the children. When they don't, we obtain upset.

b) Don't do that

Usually the key conflict triggers listed below are depending on Expectations of Process and Expectations of Results. Examples of this are "I asked that you put together an investigation based on demographics; why have you work with a geographic perspective?" or "well the immediate financials are essential but also for heaven's sake when shall we be held going to look at the bigger picture". You see, people derive their a feeling of the way a process should work and where it results in from the vantage point of their unique Reality-Slice. This can result in differences in perspective and vision - the line-of-sight from my vantage point inside organization (say in HR) may be very different through the line-of-sight for the next person (say in Finance).

Bottom Line - The So-What?

Conflict is commonplace - see this article and be aware of it. Whenever there exists possibility or occurrence of conflict, use your familiarity with the important thing conflict triggers allowing website visitors to adopt postures that cause better alignment of Reality-Slices.

So for instance, when developing a team, to cut back the possibility of unnecessary friction, your most important work will probably be defining expectations of behavior, values, process and results.

Now you recognize all you desired to find out about conflict management - Let us hope it will likely be enough for an additional conflict...

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