Notes

Last I checked Vickie, MY FATHER IS A FAMILY MEMBER! Last I checked, MY FATHER ALSO OWNS THE HOUSE (correct me if you're the sole proprietor or if you paid for it by yourself)! I am absolutely INCENSED that THIS IS STILL AN ISSUE several years after I have barely seen him, not to mention the fact that he is 79!!! And I have a mother with DEMENTIA!! WE DO NOT NEED THIS WEDGE DRIVEN BETWEEN US RIGHT NOW...I THINK YOU KNOW THAT, AS IT WOULD AFFECT OUR WHOLE FAMILY, ESPECIALLY HIM (and the PRECARIOUS situation with Kim). It is COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY and right at CHRISTMAS nonetheless. I find your lack of respect for my relationship with him absolutely egregious, especially considering the GRACIOUSNESS and RESPECT my family has ALWAYS SHOWN YOURS.... I ABSOLUTELY REJECT ANY TERM OR CONDITION PUT ON WHETHER I CAN VISIT AND/OR SPEND THE NIGHT WITH MY FATHER. Yes, Corbin and Halle might come, but if they don't I can't go to my mother's late and I need to get my car inspected, something I would like to do with he and Steve. LET ME BE CLEAR VICKIE: I have no intention of EVER staying with you again or as you like to tell everyone, "live" with you (which was never really the case, but that is another matter). However, to tell me THAT THERE IS A CONDITION ON WHETHER I CAN STAY OVERNIGHT after living in NC for 3+ years (and where I will continue to live, an 8-hour drive away!!!) is absolutely mean-spirited and so disrespectful. Please tell me Vickie, is this supposed to be some lifelong law? To allow you to EVER set that condition for me would actually mean that I'm also allowing you to STEAL PRECIOUS moments of time that I have remaining with my father, and (let me be clear) NO ONE WILL EVER DO THAT AS LONG AS I DRAW BREATH! You know damn well that incident (whatever it was, I'm not entirely sure any more...have your family members ever been banned from a room?) is in the past and it can remain there. I understand Vickie that you have issues with me, and I respect that and have always appreciated your concern and prayers. Yes, there are things I need to rectify in my life. And yes, I respect that it is you and Dad's home. In the past we have had a good relationship and I would like to continue having it. That being said, make NO MISTAKE, the relationship between my father and I is OUR BUSINESS...NOT YOURS OR ANYONE ELSE'S. You think I am not 'entitled' to anything, to use your terminology, but what I am ENTITLED to is a RELATIONSHIP (INCLUDING THE RIGHT TO VISIT AND SPEND THE NIGHT WITH MY FATHER) FREE OF ANY ENCUMBRANCE OR INTERFERENCE BY YOU! Maybe you want to cause a rift, I don't know...you have used this issue before...maybe you want a conflict with my father...but I will say again this is ENTIRELY UNNECESSARY AT THIS CRITICAL TIME IN OUR FAMILY! I WILL NOT BE TOLD I NEED 'ANOTHER FAMILY MEMBER THERE' TO VISIT MY FATHER for what might amount to 1 or 2 days. My intention was to spend most of the time with Mom anyway as we have seen her less since she can no longer travel, and her condition is worsening.


I tried to call you several times, because frankly I don't want to have this conversation via email. This has caused a rift between my father and I, and PROBLEMS within our ENTIRE family for long enough now. And if you persist in this abhorrent treatment of me it will create even more problems over something so ridiculous. So I would like to speak with you DIRECTLY, not through email. I have NEVER said a word to you regarding this (nor, shockingly, you to me) as I am very careful not to upset my father, and I know you took that as my tacit acceptance of this 'condition' of my visiting. This however is not the case and we really don't need this to be an issue any more. Please have the respect to speak with me and NOT my Dad about this. He is fragile right now Vickie. I don't want to upset him any more. I would like to agree on a time to speak when you are by yourself. I think it's time I hear all of this out of YOUR MOUTH (and vice versa)...not from Kim or Steve and Darlene, but just you and I. I would appreciate that modicum of respect. Please get back to me with a time and I'll be waiting.

-Bucky