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i have been having a rough time the past few weeks. alot has happened in my life tbh. the main bump in my life right now is that i have left my friendship group! i know i know its quite a big deal and im actually very proud of myself that i was able to do that since i have been wanting to do this for literally months now which is a relief. but ever since i left my friendship group my old friends havent been the nicest to me at school. which is a good and bad thing i guess, because on the good side i can see who is truly 100% my real friend and then who isnt. but on the bad side it doesnt make me feel great.... after all we have been through together as friends they say stuff like "if you have left the friendship group dont talk to us in school". i know i have left the group and stopped texting/going out with them but i didnt want to cut them off fully as i do still care for them indiviually so i would still want to speak to them inside of school. but they are saying mean things like that, giving me dirty looks, kicked me from the dicord server, ect. i dont really care what others think of me but the worst thing is when i told my girl friends that i was leaving the group they gave the worst reaction :/ which made me feel like they didnt/ never did care if i was there in their life or not... like i said earlier i guess its good that i know who my real friends are now but it doesnt settle well to know that they never cared. oh well its a good thing that i have other friends who are toxic and who actually care for me and see me as part of their group. i feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest now that theyre gone. but tomorrow at school... i dont know how thats gonna go :/ but i guess we will see.
well now that i have ranted about that lets move on to some other things that are happening in my life. my grandad isnt doing too well so im gonna go see him soon cause honestly i dont know how long he has left with us <3
i feel like if i was still friends with alex my life would be so much more difficult and shitty. now that we arent friends i realise how un happy he made me and how much better off i am without him :). oh yes i also messaged charlie j a massive paragraph about how he cant continue to message me where he picks and choices to keep me attached which i felt relieved about also... kinda. i have a chemistry test tomorrow ughhhhhhh.
well then i guess thats all from me. its been good ranting :)
-amaya tiana thomas <3
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