Notes

Bro Idk where to start, my day was so good until lily arena called.. she always brags about her having bad grades and that she wants to kill herself, and that she does self-harm like I don't know how to explain it. I know for a fact she isn't sad or doesn't actually want to do this to herself. She doesn't think to herself she wants that attention She wants to kinda brag about it but doesn't tell herself that she just knows it you know? She does this thing that makes the sound like she wants to die or she hates herself and she does self-harm and she doesn't say the word she goes "you know what" Because she was talking to me and said "I told my therapist about you know what" then shows her arm, like bitch you look dumb I don't know how to put in words how I feel, I feel grossed out, and I'm getting pick-me vibes I hate saying vibes but it's so true. Like if you were me you would SO understand that she is just wanting the attention It's so aggravating But to add to that she also made me cry EVERY SINGLE NIGHT bc she replaced me with Charlize and I got so upset but now I look back and I realize that I don't think I need someone who going to treat me like I don't exist but that was awhile ago... I still don't know how to feel about it. I tell my mom everything but I can't tell her this... I also was told by lily herself in the text that she tried killing herself by drowning right after she watched a movie, that's funny but at the same time it's not, It's kind of wanting to show off that u tried killing yourself. I have been through REALLY rough times but I don't go around telling my "BSF" that I tried killing myself and there's no reason behind it. I still love lily I just don't think the story adds up. She wants a therapist just to go around telling people she has one.

4.19.2022