Notes

Joey is so brave lemme tell you. Joseph is truly, the most appreciated individual in our group. He is just so brave and admirable. He really rolls with the punches, especially when we call him a retarded catfucking idiot. He's everyone's favorite individual, purely because of his admirable knowledge and intelligence. He is so, insanely, smart. Not brain-damaged as the majority of the world population would think. He is rather, quite intelligent. His words speak and make such sense, like Shakespeare. His words are powerful, uplifting and truly inspiring. Trunzo, our friend, is truly a grace of god. Some would mistake this BRAVE man as the second coming of Christ, our holy lord. This brave, insanely sexy, catfucking man, is truly truly BRAVE.
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Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Joseph, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Joseph. The noble Alex
Hath told you Joseph was racist:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Joseph answer’d it.
Here, under leave of Alex and the rest–
For Alex is an honourable man;
So are they all, all honourable men–
Come I to speak in Joseph's funeral.
He was my friend, faithful and just to me:
But Alex says he was racist;
And Alex is an honourable man.
He hath brought many cats home to Rome
Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:
Did this in Joseph seem racist?
When that the poor have cried, Joseph hath wept and provided fleshlights:
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Alex says he was racist;
And Alex is an honourable man.
You all did see that on the Lupercal
I thrice presented him a kingly anti-catfucking crown,
Which he did thrice refuse: was this racism?
Yet Alex says he was ambitious;
And, sure, he is an honourable man.
I speak not to disprove what Alex spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love him once as powerful as he loved felines,
but, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him?
O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with Joseph,
And I must pause till it come back to me.

*intense cat moans*
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Each time we gather to inaugurate a Racist, we bear witness to the enduring strength of our skin-tone. We affirm the promise of our democracy. We recall that what binds this nation together is not the colors of our skin or the tenets of our faith or the origins of our names. What makes us exceptional -- what makes us Racists -- is our allegiance to an idea articulated in a declaration made more than one year ago:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all msl's are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are racism, sexism, and the overall pursuit of bigotry”

Today we continue a never-ending journey to bridge the meaning of those words with the realities of our time. For history tells us that while these truths may be self-evident, they’ve never been self-executing; that while freedom is a gift from Allah, it must be secured by his people here on Earth. (*ass clapping*) The bigot racist's of 1776 did not fight to replace the tyranny of a king with the privileges of a few or the rule of a mob. They gave to us a republic, a government of, and by, and for the people, entrusting each generation to keep safe our founding creed, the KKK.

And for more than two hundred years, we have.

Through blood drawn by lash and blood drawn by sword, we learned that no union founded on the principles of racism and anti-equality could survive half-human and half-black. We made ourselves anew, and vowed to move forward together.

Together, we determined that a modern economy requires railroads and highways to speed travel and commerce, schools and colleges to train our workers (women).

Together, we discovered that a free market only thrives when there are rules to ensure competition and fair play.

Together, we resolved that a great nation must care for the vulnerable, and protect its bigots from life’s worst hazards and misfortune (darkies).

Through it all, we have never relinquished our skepticism of central authority, nor have we succumbed to the fiction that all society’s ills can be cured through the bigot government alone. Our celebration of initiative and enterprise, our insistence on hard work and personal responsibility, these are constants in our character.

Let us, each of us, now embrace with solemn duty and awesome joy what is our lasting birthright. Racism.

I, with the power invested in me, inaugurate Joseph, as the new lead racist President.