Notes

lilly onakuramara is so weird, she ate her twin in the womb like chang, thats her life but she seems happy, her actress is also cute and looks happy, im also so happy for casey wigfield that she got to make her own tv show, people smiling in pictures makes me so happy
in a relationship, respecting each other, telling the other person every day how much you love them, have a healthy relationship, i hope ill be a good boyfriend, hope that one day ill be able to casually talk bout having a SO, cuz for most people its normal but im alone, wonder how love really is since i cant trust movies, think of the times i was jogging imagining all the scenarious of us getting together, like that one guy with his bearded bf from "my son is probably gay" who was so wholesomely happy bout his nice weekend trip i wanna be like that, jim and pam realizing they were so lucky to be hot and in a perfect relationship, others like toby or all the people on r/depressed or r/unrequitedlove arent that luck and in their one and only life they feel only misery and not love, that pic of these two hot guys dating, must be so great to look great and have someone to love and make out with
if i wanna be together with him, i cant tell him how sad i am the whole time, he would probably help me and want to make me feel better but its my job to make sure im happy on my own and take that self gained happiness and share it with him, but i cant just get it only from him
the last few days he was the one texting me a few times, even for really trivial things, maybe he just wanted to text with me, also apparently nothing is going on with vani, today i said something stupid in like a break or chemistry and he put in his hand on my shoulder to sarcastically say "cONgRAtuLaTioNs", in psychology we laughed a lot together, i wiggled my eyebrows at him which almost killed me out of embarassment, but then later when he was presenting he looked at me a lot and made me laugh and also wiggled his eyebrows, and when i was presenting he overly nodded and smiled at me, in the chat he also asked me how long it took me to make the photoshopped group picture, which is nice that he immediately asks me something
i guess sometimes dan is really milking some jokes they have, like when he tries to mime/show with his hands "2,5 L of mayonnaise" across the classroom, that was really desperate for his attention, it contained no substance he just really wanted to say something to niggls, he always sits at lunch with him of course and then i end up alone, tho hes probably the most scared of ending up alone and niggls is the last/only person he has in this class, especially after definitely losing louis and yannis after insulting their girlfriends
when we watched petit nicolas with caprio in secondary, i didnt know any of the people i do now, i didnt know the guy i could imagine spending my life with, maybe ill meet someone who ill have the same feelings for that i also dont know right now, after all back then i also couldnt have imagined meeting someone i love so much, the exact same is true now and can also happen again
today when he was presenting in psychology, florine pointing out how much bigger he is than simon and alex, and the way he casually and with humor presented his stuff just made me fall for him again, hes just so cool and awesome and so hot, i want to be with him and have him hold me close, kiss him, call him my boyfriend, run around the city at night with him and hold hands, do romantic stuff, think of all the romantic movies and songs and reddit stories, i want to finally have my own, with him, we could also go somewhere else during lunch and probably make out like alicia and yannis always do, people finding out about us, would be the first gay couple ive seen at gym
these gay guys telling their stories on reddit, not only are they lucky enough to have found love and a boyfriend, they have also had girls be into them and flirt with them, having a moment like that in my life would be kinda cool, though im happy right now i suppose, is niggls also that dense when girls are flirting with him cuz hes gay, or does he ignore it cuz hes gay, or is he straight and just happens to not be into aaaaaaany girl out of daniela, isabell, vani, flori, rahel, ami, those other 2 girls, what if he really is deep deep in the closet but kinda into me, the fact he wiggled his eyebrows back at me and also touched me once was nice, also our legs sometimes touch and of course i dont move it since it gets my heart beating like crazy to touch him, but he also doesnt move away immediately, did vani sitting on his lap trigger no extreme hornyness inside him, when dan touches him maybe he finds it a little hot but would find it way hotter with me, oh kissing him at florines was so nice, he didnt even know i was gay back then, but when i was leaving he gathered all his strength and stood up from his coma, i would love to be at a party with him and lie down in his arms and then walk home together and make out and its ez pz since everyone knows were a couple
at florines before the summer holidays when yannis and alicia went upstairs together and it was so obvious theyre gonna fall in love, will i ever have my romance, or will i have to wait in my one and only life and loose precious years i could spend being happy and loving and having sex, i hope that once i finally get my romance it will be awesome, i wont experience everybody elses stories but ill have mine and it will be the best cuz its mine and i will love that person so incredibly much i wont care about anyone else or anything that happened before
thinking of the gymball in the first year, i was in love with cat, still young and full of hope, but immature and didnt know a lot, barely knew danganronpa but so many animes i didnt know, in arbeitslager i didnt even wanna see him naked i even found him kinda gross, but in tennero i already loved him, and technorama and dans first pool party, at his second pool party us having fun in the water was so great, him straightening my tie was gay tension for me, also greece with him was so great, we had such good times there and i wanted to make out with him so bad
think of all the moments when i was sure he must be in love with me, all those moments i was sure hes with a girl or that he definitely dislikes me, like after my theoretical driving exam i was so sad, now i just dont know, i guess its my choice in which memories to believe
his mom gave birth to him, she is the one who created the person ive loved more than anyone else before him, so crazy to think about how small the chances were of him starting to exist, i wish i could be together with him, then i could meet his parents and he could meet mine, and we could eat over at each others houses
if i asked him out i will certainly get rejected, but maybe i can stop feeling so sad, although everytime i was sure he would hate me now things got better, and fate still didnt make him have a girlfriend, so maybe there is a chance i will get my fairytale, ill get to be in a perfect beautiful couple, i wanna touch him run throught his hair kiss his neck and make out passionately
i wonder if he can love anyone and truly have deep feelings for them, why cant he be gay, i would be so happy being together with him, if i didnt like him then i probably wouldnt see him as anyone extraordinary but my love does make him seem so amazing and great and hot, if we were a couple we could kiss in school, has he no desire for sex or love or does he really wait for a girl he has true feelings for, i cant be that lucky that hes gay, also when we talked he kinda looked down and stuff, which is what people in love do but he mightve just felt a little awkward around me, when i gave him my present vani looked at me intensly, i bet she could tell im in love with him, just every small moment of our eyes meeting is so great for me, biology text was right that simply seeing a beloved person makes you happy and you have the desire and urge for sex, that would be so amazing if i could be naked with him, maybe on a romantic getaway
in the future, being able to talk bout different partners youve been with and how each of them were, hope i can even say partners in plural, imagine him saying like "out of all the girls ive been with, that one girl was..."
he plays with other people, he texts with other people, but thats okay of course, he still said he has the best time with me and apparently doesnt wanna text with vani, we had it really good friday and wednesday in psychology, im sad if i think bout how others have plans and parties, but if i can do stuff with him and be with him then i dont care cuz ill be happy, im just scared of him rejecting me cuz i wont know what to do, since vicky also doesnt wanna text me back and cat too, so ill just be completely alone probably
is he interested in getting a girl or is he content right now being single, doesnt he wanna lose his virginity to vanessa, is that why girls like him so much, hes so confident, lucky to be hot, has a great personality, and cuz hes not trying to get with girls that makes him more attractive, did he ever try to flirt with anyone
dan gives romance advice to all his friends who have girlfriends, he also wants a girlfriend himself tho but fails, how did all of them find love, why cant i, am i just that unlucky, or does fate want me to be with him and thats why noone else intervenes, cuz i already found my destined first lover, does niggls want a girlfriend or love or sex or all that sweet romantic stuff, like i see in in tiponis story about people calling her fabutastic and her calling that other guy a great human, wish someone would refer to me as someone they enjoy hanging out with so much
if i was with him, we could do bro things, romantic things and lewd things, and have so much fun together
that time when dan had to mime 2,5 L mayo in french to him or when he had to mention that joke again after petra bashed him, seemed really desperate to get niggls to like him and have fun with him, he probably clings to him a lot, he touches him so much its almost gay (i wanna touch him a lot of course), cuz once niggls is gone, dan is alone and stays away from all of us, wonder if niggls feels kinda obligated to talk to him, if we were together i wonder how dan would feel, maybe he wants to prevent this and gets between us so we wont be a couple cuz hes scared hell have noone if both of us are preoccupied with loving each other
i love it when he talks bout his dick (after zürich), jerking off (with florine walking down), boner (at my birthday party with pillows or horny (that one red lingerie that flori didnt like), wanna know how he acts when hes aroused, hear him moan when he cums, talk to him bout wanking, how its different for us guys than girls in a couple of ways sexually
when dan asked niggls on new year how far hes gotten with florine, if they kissed already, if he had to little balls to do so, why did niggls hug her but then they didnt end up together, is he really deep in the closet, doesnt he want love, isnt he horny, what does his dick want, wish someone would ask me out, that he would put his arm around me, he also hugged flori on the last PA day, did he wanna seem cool for zschokke like he has a gf, then why isnt he with any girl unless hes not actually attracted to them
i wanna see him naked, wanna go skinny dipping with him, aquabasilea was so nice with him, i wanna have a really cute romantic love story, i wanna be gay with him, i cant imagine my life without him, i would be so infinitely in bliss with him, we could go on so many trips, losing our virginity, unbelievable hes still a virgin and hasnt had sex, is he even embarassed about anything, he doesnt need to be, hes so hot and has no blemishes, hes probably satisfied with his life and love and sexual activity, wish he was horny for me and i could see him cum, wonder whatll happen at the party, whenever we are together we only have fun and have it good, at joels it did seem like maybe he wouldve liked to talk a bit more with me, he didnt get horny from vani sitting on his lap, she was so horny for him, wish i could sit on his lap and kiss him, then he enjoys being around me and maybe he has feelings for me, we have no bad memories, but why doesnt he reply or text me back or doesnt contact me at all, if he puts in zero effort then i cant mean anything to him can i, but hes been like that before and weve had fun since so maybe i just cant give up hope yet, after all watching demon slayer was fun and he wanted to ask me first before daniele to do history with him, when flori asked if we make out in first class, wish that could become reality and we really do make out, would he be embarassed about that, hes always confident and never flustered, it would be so hot to see him shy and naked, him exposing his deepest feelings, would love to tell people im together with him, casually mention niggls and everyone knows hes my boyfriend and we do romantic and lewd stuff together, but act super normal and wholesome and cute at school
why doesnt he text me back, why didnt he say anything bout my birthday note i hid in the blueberry candies, does he know im in love with him, does he find it very weird, why didnt he do anything with any of the girls that like him, it must feel so great to see those survey results compared to mine, i feel so worthless, when i asked him to jogg in the easter holidays he never replied and didnt try to, he looks so great in his insta driver license pic hes super happy in his life without me, hes always somewhere doing something and looking hot and being the person i love so much but can never be with, i need to talk to him bout my feelings, is it really weird and annoying to be with me, is he creeped out, when we were jogging and talking bout deep stuff it felt so freeing but he was anxious to leave as soon as we completed the lap, why would he think he might not have a great future and a wife, his life seems so perfect and happy, im always sad and dissatisfied, i wont ever find love and someone who truly cares about me, i dont know what to make of all our nice memories, he needs to tell me what all our moments meant if they even meant anything, its so great and so often i get the feeling he likes me, but then something happens that makes it seem impossible that he does, i just dont know how to go on, i feel so alone and lonely, i need someone by my side and i wish it could be him, we could trust each other and talk bout everything in our hearts and on our minds, i bet he never thinks about me yet i think about him all the time, being next to him and school and we walk around so much and then he seems to like me but not enough to care about me in any way i suppose, i need some kind of confirmation that im not worthless and undatable and unattractive and undesirable, cuz thats all that i feel i am
ask him if im worthless and annoying and its ok if he never wants to talk to me again, but also if im being manipulative and a psycho stalker, i wanna hold his hand, i cant drive, i cant be diligent, im not included anywhere, i bet they hang out so much without me, how much does he get texted with
there were plenty of times where he didnt respond or text back to me, BEFORE those times he said i was his bestest friend and he would talk to me first etc, so maybe just cuz he doesnt contact me doesnt mean he hates me, then ill ask him out, make sure its not too weird try to hint at my crush and give him the opportunity to reject me beforehand, then at lil koreas maybe everything will turn out wonderful just like when i was worried new years talk with them would be mortifying but it was very nice and he was so kind, then i could have sex with him and make out vigorously since were both horny hot guys, go to bad ragaz and go on a thousand walks and hikes and experience beautiful sceneries and places together, like going to japan together,
cant believe he was on dates with florine and sunset watching and still rejected her, ask him how those dates were (also the strip club) and why they kept it up for so long as if they were together so far that petra made a comment at my birthday party, what did vani text him, did she aggressively flirt with him, i wish someone will hit on me like that in my future, i know i have no chance but hes my only hope and reason to keep living, love must be so amazing if youre loved back
i mean i think hes so incredibly hot, but hes actually pretty skinny, but i love his hair and his chest and his hands and his neck and his eyes and his hairy legs and i would probably love his dicks and his pubes, him being horny and naked must be so hot, i mean he is still a male
sad cuz noone does stuff with me, invites me to play games, i thought maybe it meant something that niggls watched a movie with me but it couldnt have, i remember him being so arrogant and flexing when we did a groupcall on zoom during lockdown, but then we had so much fun in greece, and he was so nice to me, it mustve been a pain for him to have me in his car on his birthday, im really certain he dislikes me and finds me annoying, but it hurts so much cuz i thought we had something special together and that he might even like me the most too, but of course not, i just dont know how to go on being so alone and without friends, ive never managed to make real friends until now, what if ill never ever make any, i dont wanna stay lonely for ever
im a bad person, my personality sucks, i dont know why i just wasnt able to make friends, everyone else is alive for the first time too, why did they manage to have people care about them, noone wants me around, it was nice of niggls to say im popular at new years but that was obviously a lie, hes so confident, everyone loves him and hes never alone and has people who wanna spend time with him, he must be so happy all the time, i wish i could enjoy my life
he watched the movie without me probably with daniele, he cares about me so little he didnt even text me at all, plus hes texting with vani, i bet theyre gonna be together soon, everything is horrible, i wish something could happen that could make me happy
we used to have so much fun, we laughed so much, he looked at me and smiled, i really thought i meant something to him and he cared about me and worried, but obviously he doesnt give a crap about me and goes out of his way to not do something with me, i bet he really dislikes me, he loves vani and will have sex with her, imagining him having a gf is so horrible for me, his great smile and his grin and his expressions, and ill know that his heart belongs to her, but he is his own person (think of that pic where he fell on the floor in his chair) and will do what makes him happy, has his own thoughts, what are his deepest feelings, i once believed that he worries about me
maybe he still likes me and doesnt think about these things as much as me, doesnt even assume that it hurt me, i wanna go to bad ragaz with him and hold hands with him while listening to the gentle rain, talk to him and find out, so far all of our talks always ended nicely, find out how he feels about me, why does he seemingly dislike me or not reply, what i should make from all our nice memories, does he have feelings of love or desire for sex, how scared is he of his life being bad and sad and worthless and feeling unfulfilled, how scared is he of death and pain, is he with vani
makes me sad that hes somewhere and i cant be with him, we have nice memories but he probably finds me annoying thats why he never texts me, he games with others and does the assignments with him, plus hes probably into vani now and ill see them make out on friday which will kill me, hes so confident, is he shy or embarassed about anything, hes always in control of anything, can talk to people easily, is there ever a situation where he feels uneasy
hes a guy, he has a dick that he wants to get wet, hes a teenager so probably really horny, of course he would be with vani and make out with her, he will enjoy that so much
that psychology lesson where we didnt talk at all, but he glanced at me i think when walking down, then he saw florine and kinda tackled florine, still didnt look at me, tho he then turned around to say bye, laughed so much and was happy with her on the bikes didnt need me at all, why would he wanna spend time with a pathetic nonbiker like me, tho the psychology lesson a week after he waited for me after the bus and we wiggled our eyebrows at each other and looked at each other during the presentation, i think he looked away when i had fun with flori, does it hurt him to see that, i thought he seemed down when i talked bout vicky or raksha, but he cant possibly have been jealous, i wanna see his dick so bad and touch him and make love to him
it was nice that the first things he did was apologize for watching the movie on his own, later he laughed at the stuff he did with daniele, clearly he likes dan the most as his bestest friend which was apparently me once but not anymore, thats a shame, but he did wanna share the fun he had with him and tell me, besides i dont know if daniele asked him to go on discord together or niggls asked, i also wanna be included in stuff like that but i just end up alone with noone and they have fun on their own, why doesnt he wanna spend more time with me, although he can have fun with daniele and still really like me, maybe im so sad recently and he noticed he cant have as much fun with me as he used to and with dan he has even more chemistry and they can laugh all the time, what happened to the times when we couldnt stop laughing and dan really tried to get between us and he was successful unfortunately, also niggls says the workout usually kills him and he only does it every few days but after i told him i do it everyday he immediately decided to also do it again, maybe he was a little jealous and impressed and wanted to live up to my example
he might play valorant with him or laugh at his jokes but i can also die laughing with other people and still be in love with someone else, also sometimes he laughs at stuff i say that isnt funny maybe cuz he just loves listening to me, nah no way, but i wonder what he wants, does he have no need for much social stuff, has he no urge to have sex, being together with someone takes a lot of trust and that person must be really special to you, and he is that for so many girls that must be so amazing to know that multiple girls want to have sex with you and are horny for you like vanessa sitting on his lap, must be such a nice confident feeling, even in secondary girls were into him, i wonder how many girls have flirted with him in his entire life, noone ever flirted with me before, was he never interested cuz he was looking for a truly deep genuine love connection or is he just not straight, for a time i thought that maybe i am that special person for him, everybody loves him but he loves me, i really believed that, i guess i can still hope, i know i want to believe in love and our memories and fate, but i just cant imagine that i could be that lucky
nanai from girl from nowhere, one guy who is super popular and all girls wanna be with him, he had so much sex, niggls could be like him, doesnt he ever think that he wants to fuck a certain girl, is he that unhorny, so many girls are into him, he could definitely lose his virginity, but for some reason he didnt, it must be so nice if a girl likes you, he could experience all the things that i long for so deeply, he could have sex and he would look so hot, must be a great feeling when he jerks off and he knows that many girls would wish to see him in that moment, no wonder hes so confident in himself, he wont have any problems in his future love/sex life, i wanna see him naked, and i wanna be alone with him and know that noone else is with him in that moment except me and we make out, has he never even kissed a girl before, that seems unbelievable
cobra commander and destro being totally platonic friends, that cook digging a tunnel with a spoon wasting so much of his life, one person doing so much in one life and being happy with your life, imagine watching a movie with someone looking at them and then kissing each other, that moment when they looked at pierces chair after he died, those moments everyone was laughing, frankie and elroy also being in the group hug and being so happy
having fun with someone, hugging, trusting each other, wish i could have that with him, and also lewd stuff, i love him
i really hope hes not already together with vani and i wont see them make out on friday, i really wish fate was generous to me and i could get love, tho im asking for way to much, i need to stop pitying myself, manage to be happy on my own, only then can i be a great boyfriend and we can share both our happinesses, so far whenever i thought all hope was lost and it would be terrible something nice happened, he either talked to me really kindly, wasnt actually together with that girl or he randomly texted me, when he apologized for watching the movie without me that was so sweet, also those chocolate things he made and gifted to me for by birthday were so cute, apparently he talks about me the most, has he ever made that effort for a girls present, in general he never seems flirty towards any girls at all, despite so many being horny for him, he just kinda grins and feels confident but doesnt do anything, i really dont know how he could feel about me
all the memories where he was wearing swim trunks are so hot cuz hes almost naked, like aquabasilea, gartenbad, all of greece, tennero, parties at danieles, hot tub simon, florines pool
we could hold hands together, glance at each other, sneak around to make out, i know i dont have to be insecure anymowe, i know i can trust someone, someone to travel with, go to bad ragaz, have sex, be naked together, just silently cuddle, have so much fun together, walk through the streets and laugh and people will think were such a cute couple, i know this is really creepy to write this but its what im thinking, we could go eat burgers, we could talk about each other and evryone knows were sleeping together, they might ask some lewd questions and i can confidently answer them and then grin at each other during truth or dare
i did always have fun with nick, there werent any hints he was gay, i just had extreme luck, he acted completely straight except that he wasnt into the girl that liked him, maybe niklas is just like nick, who knows
imagine a huge muscle guy being sad cuz he cant be with someone he loves, no matter how strong you are feelings can be so powerful, you wanna spend time with someone and hang out with them, see them and youre happy and kiss them and them loving you back must be so nice, that reddit video where couples have intense sex but then cuddle after and make each other feel special, such wholesome relationships where you just have fun and help each other and all you want is to make each other happy, wish i was in bad ragaz with him, we could go to the park or tamina therme
these relationship posts on insta, girls saying they really want a guy to make out with them hard, wish i could ever somehow relate to being referred to in such a post
niggls is a teenager, he should be horny, doesnt he want to have sex or have a girlfriend, find love, experience these things, does he have no desire for stuff like that, i wonder what does he really really want, is there even anything, he seems like hes content and has no need for social stuff, yet i and other girls wanna hang out with him and are so happy, i wonder if he really wants to spend time with me or doesnt care at all how i am, or worse he finds it annoying and thats why he doesnt respond bout lil korea, imagine we were together what if itd be really sad and unromantic cuz he has no initiative and if i ask him then maybe he says yes, but it is a fact that whenever we do hang out we immediately have fun and can talk and even he seems to try and keep the convo going, my crush on him is so huge, can i really be that lucky, i will have to accept that he cant love me, but until then i guess i can hope and just try to be happy and confident and a great person to be around, i can still always cry later
a new person like elroy or frankie joining and then theyre part of the group, same in real life, im looking forward to meeting new people, at first we have to learn each others names and eventually we know each other so well and hang out and maybe ill find someone to date and itll be fun to think back to when we didnt know we exist
if we were together, he could come over and watch community with me and my dad
we had so much fun in the city, when we were walking and talking once again we sometimes had the exact same thoughts and ideas, like shooting the boba balls, wanting to see where günther is written, and also he laughed so hard and loved how seriously i explained that he needs to shove the schnelltest thing up his ass, talking about how freeing burps are, how he always has to piss after drinking alcohol, we both had the idea to steal that construction work sign, since we had so much fun there i dont think he was faking that and actually dislikes me, that just means that on whatsapp he just IS less initiative and doesnt reply any more than necessary, which is good to know for the future, when i once again doubt whether he absolutely finds me annoying
at the party we had fun and i got to kiss him, dont remember if he looked particularly excited or anything tho, but he sat next to me on the floor and put his arms on the armrest and kinda seemed to lean in closer to me for a bit, when we both wanted to go to the WC at the same time and i jokingly threatened to walk in with him
when i was in the bathroom at the end, he asked if im alright and asked if he should bring me home, i wonder how many nice moments of him i missed/forgot about, maybe he really openend up to me, who knows
i feel like i heard petra say something bout niggls, how nothings gonna happen between him and a girl cuz hes too gay, and the other person was like what and petra was like "ask florine", during fuckmarrykill he jokingly said hed marry daniele, so he kinda dodged that one, he said he would fuck amanda but rather from behind for some reason, probably cuz her talking mouth is annoying but maybe also cuz hes gay, also vani and tati were whispering about daniele and niklas, apparently nothing is going on between him and vani since he didnt know where her house is and vani told me theres no tea, except maybe niklas having his arm around florine, which vani wouldnt count as tea if she knew he had shown any interest back to her, niklas and florine being like that could sound like tea but it seemed very clear that they arent romantically involved, but its very rare for a guy and a girl to be platonic and then be like that, unless of course he is gay, then its like ilse and me or patrick and petra, maybe he came out to her after rejecting her, and now theyre better friends than ever cuz the chances are 100% transparent, would make sense with petras commentary bout asking florine, maybe cuz theyre like that niggls hugged her at new years but didnt hold hands with her on the way home, he didnt wanna come out so when daniele asked him if he kissed her already he didnt admit there was nothing going on between them romantically and just said not yet, would explain why hes not into any of the girls even though (see survey) so many girls would totally date or hook up with him, imagine if he really was gay, patrick also joked he could have a crush on me at louis shooting range house, niggls might go out with me but doesnt have an active need for love since he seems perfectly content just sitting at home, but he wouldnt have anything against him if i did ask him out, now i still dont know if thats way too hopeful, but so far life really went out of its way to not confirm him being straight, so maybe i do actually have a chance
i wish i couldve went somewhere with him alone and then kissed him when we were both drunk, if we were a couple we could be next to each other, grin smugly at the sex questions, hold hands, cuddle, make out secretly
i really wanna show the "community if i die before you video" to him cuz it makes me so happy and everything that makes me happy i wanna share with him, i notice how i might go to ilse simply as a replacement even tho i wanna be with him, which is really mean of me, i do like her, but i just dont value spending time with her AS MUCH as with him, actually noone else can even compare, i know that thats wrong of me to just use others as rebound people when im too shy to chill with the guy i love
wish i had these moments in real life where you suddenly get dropped a huge hint that someone is in love with you, i would be so happy but also so flustered, like when angela mentioned how often jim goes to pams desk or whenever nagatoro blushes or mlady mlord
i need to jogg with him, check whether he never finds it weird to do stuff alone with me, talk bout my filmriss, if theres any tea, why is he with no girl, maybe i SHOULD have talked to him when i was blackout drunk, finally told him my feelings and be done with it already, imagine if he accepted me, then we could start dating and keep it a secret at school for a while, we could watch it 1 and 2 and if hes scared hell hold my hand
him undressing with me would be so hot, hes skinny but still so good looking, his face is so handsome, his smile makes me so happy, i just wanna sit with him, hold each other and smile, glad i at least got to kiss him again
maybe he really is kinda meant for me, probably not really but in theory, alicia said my letter was sweet but she still doesnt love me, any girls that might confirm him as straight and kill my hopes end up being nothing, any girls that i liked also didnt work out, maybe the universe wants us to end up together, maybe he really is guy, which is why he has his arm around florine despite being a guy that is not her boyfriend, then we could be together and be happy and i could know that we truly were made for each other, the thing petra said gives me so much hope tho, we could travel and watch stuff (community with dad) and go eat burgers and just make out a lot cuz were both horny guys and all the others would know about us being such a nice couple, they would ask questions, i could feel valuable, know im deserving of love, i could tell danilo, anna, elena, ariana, teachers, raksha, mischa, noriko about it and feel proud
yeah hes not super initiative but once we are together hes nothing but nice, he apologized for stuff on his own accord and he does seem to be enjoying my company a lot, same as how i love him, we couldve spent more time at the party together, but i also had fun on my own without him and still love him, so the same can apply to him, couples shouldnt depend on each other for happiness anyway, he asked if he should accompany me home and when i told vani i think maybe niklas was asking if im aight, she said "oh yeah, that was safe him", like maybe she also suspects some gayness in him, obviously he rejected her and shes unsure whats going on with him and florine, but i feel like its clear that him and florine arent a couple, theyre probably just like petra and patrick, he can really really like her, but if another guy asked him out he would date him and fuck him, he could love me as a boyfriend but still like everyone else so much as friends, i do that too anyway, i cant forget that, i cant expect to be the literal only human in his heart, louis isnt that for petra and alicia isnt that for yannis and vice versa, they all have other friends but they do love each other so much, i could have the same with him, that would make me so happy, just kissing and going on trips and aquabasilea and europa park and just have fun and be happy to make each other happy and spend time together
hes very confident, but what if hes not confident enough to ask me out, what if hes like an anime girl in that regard, i could ask him out and maybe ill be lucky, just like everytime i thought it would go bad with him forever and it turned out super chill and easy
he has one life and one personality, and somehow hes so confident and cool and i just love him, i dont know why but he makes me so happy, hes on my mind so much, i think about him a lot, is there any possibility he could feel the same way about me, he doesnt actively try to hang out with me, but when we do he seems so happy, at the party when other people are around its hard to tell if he actively goes to other people or daniele just pulls him along and hes too shy to just stand up and go back to me, cuz why would he, he sees im happy and hes happy so he doesnt need to awkwardly get close to me, im too shy to do that either, but once we are together and i have asked him out then it could work like that cuz we ARE a couple, dont know how he reacted when i told him i mightve hit on tati, whenever i talked bout girls (raksha, vicky, anime girl from gym) he seemed maybe a bit flustered or even annoyed and went quiet, tell him that i wonder if there was any tea at the party and that im really looking for someone to love me, why isnt he with any girls, i wish maybe that i HAD told him stuff while i was blackout drunk, check if its weird spending time with ME alone (you know cuz i like guys), tell him im so happy to spend time with him, ask if he can guess where this is going, tell him he is allowed to stop me at any point while im talking, maybe he then i just have to tell him my feelings and see what happens
he might be gay, its not impossible, there were gay moments, moments where i thought he really liked me, but he could also be straight, its so unlikely he would still be in the closet with 19, it might just be coincidence he didnt like any of those girls back, maybe he already had dates with vani anyway, just cuz he does stuff with me means nothing, no guy would just turn down an invitation of another guy to go out to eat, thats just called being a good PLATONIC friend, for now i can be happy and hopeful and confident, but accept the fact that getting turned down is extremely likely and i cant kill myself right away after that, no matter how indescribably amazing being together with him would be
nothing really mattering, what is even real, full of hope, just follow my heart, everything feels like a movie, i should just confess to him, maybe everything will get better, maybe itll even improve if he rejects me since then i can move on or something, this all would feel like a fairytale or simulation if he was gay and into me, couldnt even believe that was reality, nothing feels like its really happening right now, so i should just go for it, tho vani is really sweet to me but that doesnt mean she loves me, same could apply to niggls, but maybe he does, theres just no way of knowing unless i make a move on him, somehow confessing to him seems so unreal, cant even imagine that really happening, but it has to happen, or nothing will ever change, cuz even if he doesnt do the first move it could still end up nice, in every couple ONE of them has to ask the other out, i would be fine if it was me
the biggest argument against it is that he doesnt put in that much effort to spend time with me, but when we do spend time its always so great and hes always so nice to me, so maybe if hes also gay it could work out
why is he so hot, like him shirtless is so attractive, i love his hair and his neck, his face, his chest, his legs, him totally naked must be so hot, imagine if we were a couple and then it would become a casual thing seeing him like that, and everyone else would now that were naked together
getting rejected by him, there were moments i was so sure he could love me, hes not with vani or flori i think but he never texts me, but he almost always replies, i dont know what to think, but if he would reject me id be so sad
at the party he was wearing a tshirt, he looks so hot, why does everyone else also find him so hot, bet many girls would accept to date him, i wanted him to smile at me and talk to him, i dont remember most of the party tho, maybe there were some huge hints and i forgot about them, but im also happy talking to other people which doesnt mean that i dont love him anymore, so i dont need to necessarily worry, alicia and yannis try to go up to each other a lot tho, he never actively tries to spend time with me, he only every answers YES, when i ask him something, but he apparently worried, got pretty close to my arm when sitting next to my chair on the floor, petra mentioned him maybe being gay, maybe he would never be the one to ask me out, but he wouldnt reject me, but would i even be sure then if he truly likes me or is just kinda letting himself get dragged along, i guess if we could make out and stuff, i wouldnt mind, but i want him to be comfortable and horny too, wouldnt wanna make him do something he doesnt also 100% wanna do
i can be happy by myself, but it makes me sad that other people probably hang out a lot without me and i dont really get texted at all by anyone ever, which makes me sad, i bet he texts to so many people, or so many text him, either way why does he manage to be so cool and popular, he once said he thinks i might be more popular, maybe thats cuz he likes me and makes him perceive me as so awesome, even though im not really good at anything, he even mentioned himself my lack of talent once, but all the memories when i hung out with him were so fun, serious talks were also great, moments when HE did text ME, apparently he talks about me the most at home which is a good sign, wish someone like him would love someone like me
reddit video about guy secrets girls dont know about, niggls also should relate to these things, but i wonder how much, since he might be gay, does he think bout girls a lot and how they perceive him, does he jerk off to boobs or to naked guys, girls find him so hot, does he want compliments too, hes so nice but maybe also oblivious since it seems like he doesnt reciprocate anyones feelings, but maybe i do have a chance since he has had moments of kindness towards me and maybe even slight moments when he was a bit gay, anna said non-romantic straight guy and girl with arms around each other is very rare, so one of them is very likely to be gay, but how can he still be in the closet if hes so confident, maybe hes still unsure about if i like him and feels like it would get too awkward if i knew, but if i told him bout my feelings he might accept and then his feelings for me would also grow a lot and we could kiss and he would be way more proactive in trying to be with me and touch me and he would show his hornyness, i might actually be able to do all those phantasies with him like travelling and seeing him naked, and hold hands with him at parties and be hot and horny together, cuz he looks so freaking good all the time, wish he would have no clothes on, he once again talked about that time he and all his friends in secondary ran around the block naked
reddit video teachers noticing students crushes, they are way older than students, but students are also humans who kinda get life and have feelings and just want to be happy and with the person they love, wish i could have moments with someone and other people would think "oh, they must love each other", then they start dating and the teacher is happy for them, wish someone would love me back, must be such an amazing feeling in your heart
wish we could sit next to each other and just slightly touch legs or hands, i could put my hand on his leg, or brush through his beautiful hair
other people telling reddit stories of finding love and going on cute dates and their sexual experiences, they all have so many stories to tell about sex before and after, and i have nothing, how can they have so many nice things happen in their life, are they so attractive and confident, my personality just sucks
talk to niggls bout why he never texts me, he doesnt really put any effort in to see me but when we do its always so much fun, so i just dont know how to judge him, ask him if im being too pushy when i ask him again and again, he should answer honestly, if he doesnt really wanna do stuff with me he should tell me, ask him if he ever finds it weird spending time with just me, because i really enjoy being with him alone, i love being with him alone, see what he answers to these questions, is there anyone that he thinks about a lot, does he long for someone he loves and that loves him, doesnt he want dates or a girlfriend or sex, after i ask these questions ill say that i do long for that kinda, and that the person i love is him (no hold up, dont say that, it could scare him away even if he was into me, ill just say i would really like to go out with him), apologize for any awkwardness, apologize for assuming he might be gay, if he doesnt wanna answer ill just leave, ask him for his true feelings, could he imagine a relationship with me, ask if its been obvious to him, did he ever have any feelings for me at all, cuz if we could be together i would be the happiest guy in the world, if he can tell where the conversation is going hes also allowed to stop it and go home at any time, hell reject me anyway, itll be awkward and ill run home alone and sad, just ask him not to tell anyone about it and hope we can remain buds even if it will be harder and weirder for both of us now, forbid him to feel bad for me, he is to blame for nothing, but maybe i do have a chance, i dont think the odds are zero, cuz he didnt date any of the girls that asked him out, we always have so much fun and do objectively have chemistry, he might actually be gay, hes said such nice things sometimes and apparently considers me his bestest friends and has the best time with me and feels closest to me, and all that can still be true, him loving me is not a contradiction to him not texting me that much or laughing with or hanging out with other people, even if he goes to talk to someone else he cOuLd still love me
tell him that i know the question "do you really like me or are yout just being nice, cuz i love you and if you dont feel the same you dont have to do anything that your heart doesnt truly want" is annoying, so i just wanna ask it him once and then ill believe him and be happy, imagine if we were in the tamina therme together, almost naked and so close to each other, then walk to that restaurant and later watch something on netflix and then make out and talk and have fun the whole night, maybe lie in the park and look at stars
imagine being on a road trip with him, just having fun, shouting out the car, kissing, like alyssa and james, feeling really truly alive, with him i can truly feel like myself, im so happy when we look at each other smiling, the romantic cliches are true, i do get lost in his beautiful eyes
imagine being in bad ragaz with him and he gets out of bed shirtless and we brush our teeth together and we see each other naked, then cuddle in bed, him smiling at me and telling me everything will be okay, like james told alyssa