Notes

Dear Dad.. or Thomas or whatever I'm supposed to call you at this rate,

To be honest with you I don't even know how to start this letter to you. It's like I have so much to say but I choke and get all tangled with my own words and thoughts, this would be why it's taking me so long to right back. I can just say I might be a little bit brutally honest. I don't know whether to hate you for for what you've done or to love you because you wrote me back and actually remember me, because you really had me thinking there for a while that you didn't even remember my first name. I think about you ALL the time, I've cried thinking about you several multiple times. It's like, even after all the hell I've gone through and the mental/emotional scars you have left me I still can't help but to want to run up into your arms and say I love you, because I do and I always will love you. I miss you so much... I know about addiction way too well considering a specific recovering drug-addict in our family (not my mom). I've gone through a lot of crap for a 14-year-old that not even most middle-aged adults have experienced and it has put me through great depression. The point is, daddy, I really really realllyyyy miss you and I want to get to see you again.. at least one last time...maybe a phone call. I'm not even 100% positive that I want you completely back into my life, but what I do know is that getting this letter from you had me in tears .... the happy kinda shocked ones : ) . Calling you a dad is very hard to do when you where never there. I mean, what happened to the father who swore he'd stay? Well now mom feels a lot of guilt and pain. I really deeply hope you would never go and do something 'stupid'. I believe it or not care way too much to have you be put in that position. I want you to remember this, I miss you and love you SO much. I remember a couple things about you, I remember what you look like (of course I see pictures from when I was an infant.), I remember that tattoo on your upper arm of barbwire wrapped around very well, I remember you being pretty tan. Well, like I said I have so much to say but I'm going to end this letter here.

Always & Forever yours...,
Veronica Parker/ <3