Notes

it just kinda sucks ya know. feeling this way and knowing you dont. i know i go through guys easily. i have feelings for a lot of them all the time and its a new boy i think of and ask for each time, but for some reason this time it is different. i dont even know how to explain it. i am kinda driven to you. maybe it is because you dont give me the attention i want and maybe it is because you never say hi or talk to me first. i just get this feeling around you i have never really felt before. it is like i crave you and i want to be around you all the time. i just want you but i know you dont want me and it really hurts. you consume my thoughts and feelings and i think of you nonstop. i want you so bad but you dont want me. i saw you a few days ago. you were right near me and we made eye contact, except you didnt even wave. or smile. we just looked at each other and you dont understand how badly i wanted you to talk to me. i saw you again today, but you didnt see me. i saw you out the window and when i walked over to where you were, you were gone. i am starting to think you know i like you and i think you want me to back off. it hurts me. i have this ache in my heart whenever i think about it. i asked up above for you. i asked them for you and they didnt give you to me. maybe it isnt supposed to be. i asked them to make me pop in your head and i asked them to make you text me or snapchat me or something, but they didnt listen to me. maybe i am being a complete idiot and need to stop with wishing for this to all magically happen. but i dont know i have no one to talk to about this. i have to write it down because all my friends will judge me. and no one will actually listen. so i just have to tell this blank screen because i know i wont get judged or hurt. i have been judged and hurt by people and it sucks. and i dont want you to be another one of those people who hurt me. i just need a little love and adventure in my life. i need someone to make me laugh endlessly and make me feel invincible. i get that feeling from you. but i dont think you get that feeling from me. and it just kinda sucks ya know.