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dear shion..
honestly, being in a relationship scares me a lot. even though i'm not the type who flirts around when i'm single, i like being free so much, i don't like being tied to anything or anyone. i like having no obligation to tell anyone anything, i don't like communicating, you know me too well about that. i like that we can interact freely, no jealousy, no heartbreak, casually mock each other in friendly or harsh way. i don't like that i should respect whatever we had between us.
especially imagining about being in a relationship with you again, i never thought about it. you were my friend, and i liked you so much. we back then have tried to be in relationship, but we failed greatly, and i was never the type who get back together with my exes, whatever the reason. especially when we back then fought a lot, we pushed and pulled a lot, we took 'break up' word so easily and resulted on we took this relationship lightly. and i ended up losing you.
then you came back to me, and we slowly became friend again, and i still like you so much, and that's what made me even more scared that if i lose you this time, i'd be losing you for real. but you were so persistent on us, told me you've grown older and wiser now, told me it'll be okay this time, told me that you'll be the one that fight for us..
.....i can't say no. i never been able to say no to you anyway.
but me too, you know, i've matured too. i want to be the one who worth enough to receive your love, i want to be the one who suits well for you, i want to keep us together too. i don't want to take us so lightly anymore, and for that reason never once since we got back together i said that i want to break up anymore. this time, i will fight for us too.
it takes two to tango, right? so will you take my hand and dance along with me until this love stops?
thank you, always. for the last 300 days of us and counting, let's work it out together. let's make the time we're together memorable and worth to remember with a smile in the future. cry less, be happy more. i love you, my friend. i love you, shion.
sincerely, syoya.
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