Notes

how do I describe what I feel?
How do I describe the care I feel for you?
How do I tell you just how much I care for you without exposing myself? Or have I already exposed myself with my actions?
You tell me about your friends, and it slightly upsets me how they treat you. I'm sure they care, but how is it that I'm the one checking in on you more when I've only known you for some months.
I consider it a guilty pleasure of mine that it feels nice when you thank for me caring or being nice. As you said, it is common things like asking how you slept or how you are. I don't see it as nice, but I know why I do it. Of course, it's because I care about you, but I'm sure it also has to do with my feelings for you. I thought these feelings would go away by now or at least dimmer down. Yet the more we talk, the more I keep liking you. I know I do it because it makes you happy. And the thought of you being happy because of something I did or said makes me happy.
It feels like at times my feelings for you are just there, stagnant. But whenever you do something that surprises me, my feelings soar. I blush and smile way too much when we text. I think about you so much. We text every day throughout the day and yet I miss you. I miss hearing your voice. I miss seeing you in person and hanging out with you. I know I'm the person you text the most and you're the person I text every day. I know your favorite color is purple and that one of your favorite scents is lavender. You pretend to be fine for others because you don't want to worry them, but damn do I hope you don't feel like you have to pretend with me. I feel special whenever you thank me or tell me how nobody else knows what you've told me.
I also know I overthink a lot of our interactions. I tell myself I shouldn't. That whatever interaction I'm overthinking it meant nothing, but there's a part of me that hopes it meant something to you. Did the "you're cuter" argument mean something to you or were you just bored? Did you telling me how I'm the person you text the most mean something to you, or was that just something you'd say to a close friend? Whenever you tell me to not leave you alone and to continue texting even though you're busy or when you tell me how told me "Mi amor", did it all mean nothing to you? Was it you just being friendly, or do you feel what I feel? Was it you testing the waters, trying to see how I felt? Or am I looking too much into it? I know I can't ask you these questions. Not unless you were to bring it up first.
I hadn't realized up until recently how much I cherish our friendship. I've grown used to our everyday texts to the point where I wonder how I went without them before. It's odd for me to think about just how much I care for you. How much you mean to me. I can't help but wonder if it's the same for you. Do I care more for you than you do for me? I hadn't felt these feeling in a while. The feeling of wanting to care for someone so bad and worrying for them. Of doing everything and anything you can to help. The inside jokes, the random question, and my caring nature that comes out with you. How am I supposed to be keep all this inside for fear of opening myself up too much and leaving myself wide open? It's terrifying to be vulnerable, but it's less scary with you. I feel all these complex emotions that it's hard to really decipher them all. I just know that I really like you and care for you a lot. I can't help but secretly hope you feel the same.