Notes

fresh start/mains
Mains:

long hug.
poem.
flowers.
ask out.
usb.

please dont treat me as if something trastic happened, like i cheated on you or beat you up. we should be able to talk to each other happily with repsect.

you said it started about a month ago. about a month ago i started not being myself and acting differently. I'm going to be what you're in love with and then some.

dont think of it as going back to something you ended. think of it as joining something new.

Don't think about how we were together, don't think about the good and bad times. Focus on how I am now. Do you like it?

can we just do one last long hug? without talking?


starting fresh:
-we can start fresh. whats your favourite colour
-If it happens again it WILL be better.
-i wont let you be expected to fix anything by yourself.
-You can have first say in what happens in our relationship
-I can see a counsellor.
-I'll tidy up my life. I'll tidy up yours. I'll fix everything.
-I'll try give you the space you want
-I'm going to treat you well. I'll be a gentleman to you. I'll open doors for you, I'll carry you across puddles, I'll be polite to you
-We're young, our ideal future isn't set in stone yet
-If you need a day to focus on yourself i.e homework, mental health, katie time, then you get that day
-You can still try and focus on being there for yourself, you become your own person
-i know it will be what you want.

-it will be better this time. i know what i wasnt doin well. i know who im going to be for you. im going to be perfect for you.

-We can try again, if nothing changes then we can stop.I know it may take a while to get use to it/back into it, but we can get through it. We can get through anything.

-We can be together but act as friends, we can just hang out and go places and just have fun wherever, it doesn't have to be about making out and doing sexual things it can just be us together.

-things could have changed if you had just told me you were falling out of love, we could have worked through it, and if it didnt work after that at least its not out of the blue, not a surprise, it would be more 'mutually done'. this is your chance to change that, we can talk about it now and try to work through, we can see how things go.

-I'm going to be there for you when you are stressing about all the things going on. I'll help you when you have a lot of school work. I'll help you when you have a big test or project coming up. I'll help you when you're having problems at work. I'll help when something is wrong at home. I'll help when something is wrong with you and your friends. I'll be there to help whenever you need no matter what the circumstance. I don't want to overwhelm you but I'll be there if you want me to.

Questions-Other

QUESTIONS:

If it didn't work: (at all)

-is that why you deleted all the nudes?
-is this why you kept resisting coming to swinburne?
-so i can be open about what I've done now
-okay, as a friend, what should i do? should i just hang out with whatever friends i can because i can't with you
-how can you just push me away like that? so suddenly? one day completely in love and the next not even meant to talk to you, meant to accept it straight away
-how can you push me away so simply?
-
-lead me on. you're feelings can come back at any moment.
-have you cried about it? don't you think it would be best to be with me? you can't say that it's for the best blah blah blah i can help you with what you need
-you'll still be putting yourself first by being with me. choosing to be with someone who will help when you need is the ultimate decision to make for yourself.
-do you have people there for you? helena? luke?
-liquorice hasn't come out if her bed..
-what do your parents think of it?
-can i meet your nan?
-did you tell others before me?
-after all the things we got through? what are we getting through now?
-whats going through your mind now? me: that my life is ruined
-why didnt you tell me
-what kind of guy do you want? what do you want to fall in love with?
-You know how we were having some pretty bad moments in the past couple weeks? Was it those times you were feeling out of love? -Because I was too at times
-What do you want in a relationship?
-What are the moments that make you think 'I don't love this'?
-We have so much history together, does that mean something to you still?
-How do you expect the straddle to react? How do you expect max to feel? I do care about him when he isn't a cunt.
-At time I admit that I felt like I was going to stop loving you but I just pushed that away. I looked at you again, I saw you smile , I saw your beautiful I eyes , I looked at you like it was the first time I'd met you and I thought 'she's the sweetest, most beautiful girl there is and she's perfect, I know I'm in love with her I just know it'

OTHER:OTHER:OTHER:OTHER:
-its just not you to do this kind of thing
-i quit my job so that it would be better to be with you - not just because of my shift problems and shitty managers
-after this week, I KNOW im in love with you. i know.
-we had so many things to do together. creating things, our painting, the book, so much!
-Unicorn land. We were so innocent there in the waterfall.
-I know there's room somewhere in there for me
-It's not right. We are meant to talk to each other we are meant to care for each other we aren't meant to be apart and treat each other differently
-we haven't grown apart, we've just stopped being ourselves.
do NOT use - I did a lot for you. I helped when you needed. I was honest, loyal. I gave you so much. I showered you with gifts. You don't love that?
-neither of us cheated, we didnt beat each other up. we dont have to hate each other, we can still talk to each other and not be forced out of each others lives.

Me-Mistakes-Alone

WHAT I DID WRONG:
I know I've been a dick and treated you like shit. I'm going to stop it. I'm going to treat you how I use to, you are my princess and you deserve to be treated as such.

I know I Havnt been showing much interest in what you're into and I'm sorry for that. I will start showing how much I do like it because honestly, deep down I do really like it too. Thing like your music, oh god I actually love it so much!

I've started to have a really bad attitude, I realise that it's not good for you, I'm going to change it.

I haven't been helping you be emotionally okay , I'm sorry. I just started thinking in the wrong way. My mindset was all in the wrong. I promise you that I will help you no matter what happens.

There are things you do or like that I either don't join in with you in, don't take an interest in, or even don't want you doing. That was wrong to do.
For example, You should be allowed to be on your phone at any moment you please and I should be okay with it, I could look at the funny pics or vines you're looking at or be on my own phone looking for funny things that I could share with you or if I'm not feeling that at the time I could do my own thing like eat and sleep and just watch you be happy right in front of me.

HAVING ONLY KATIE TO GO TO: (SORT OF SYMPATHY)
---I don't have any human interaction without you.
---i have no one to be proud of me
---im empty. i have no one to go to anymore
---I don't want to be hang out with like Henry or Swinburne people knowing that I can't even talk to you , that I don't have you when I'm in need. No one else helps me and is there for me I only have you.
---We're a team katie. We're always there for each other and help one another. Especially when there's no one else.
-----You're the only person I have to be with. Everyone else just goes out with plenty of other people. We have something strong and something unique together
---I really have no one else in my life. Jas barely helps, she doesn't give support and she's never there. I'm the person at Swinburne who is left out of everything outside of school and during school. I basically tag along with people during lunch and sit on the edge of tables during class while everyone else talks amongst themselves. I don't have anyone from glen eira I can go to. Henry doesn't give a fuck about like serious things he just wants to have fun and stuff and the same goes for like bastien and lachie. I have no "friends" I can go to for support. And god don't get me started on my family.
---You have been the one person I've always been able to go to. You have always been there when I need help and have always made it better. I don't have that with anyone else. I need that in my life from you. I'm not in a good environment to get support and I need your help to get through things.

ME:(?)ME:(?)ME:(?)ME:(?)
-You make me feel so reassured about life and everything that worries me.
-I don't want to share my life with anyone but you.
-my dreams have gone. my ambitions. my aspiration. everything. all i want is you.
-I want us to be happy together, to be by each other's side through difficult decisions, every obstacle
-7 billion people in this world you're all i need
-I feel trapped like I have nowhere else to go
-I'm really scared Katie...
-It's so hard without you
-i need you katie. i need your hugs. i need your smiles. i need you to keep me safe. i need you to keep me sane.
-I can't lose you katie I can't
-It's hell without you
-I can't be happy knowing I've lost you
I feel so alone In this world now
-im so scared to do anything without you. i need you to help me. i need your motivation, i need you to push me when i wont do something.
-i need your emotional support
-I didn't see you for over a week and then you broke up with me..
-i think the next two years will be a waste without you
-I can't lose you katie. You are the only girl for me I know you are. You are perfect for me no matter what you say
-i want to be with you for the rest of our lives
-i'll feel guilty if im with someone else
-I cant be me anymore. even when im by myself. i feel incomplete, ive lost my other half. im not whole.
-i really need you. i did everything for you. we shared so much together