Notes

OKAY. SO.
This lady I happen to be involved with.
It's been a roller coaster for the both of us.
Uhh the first few weeks of being official and such, she had many doubts because of trust issues, I also happen to be the same way-ish because I don't trust or fall in love easily. People can think that I trust them fully but...no. That shit is earned. (Tbh, since I got hurt early on, it took me a while to trust her again) How I got hurt? Her pursuance of me early on was deceitful because she saw love as a game. It was broken off early and she thought that she would just drop me prematurely and feel nothing, but soon after she was hit with regret. There was this nagging feeling in the pit of her heart saying "you lost something precious." Damn right, I am fucking gold.
Granted, I gave off a sexual persona so she probably didn't see me as a potential 'lover' per say. Apparently my looks and such gave off an "only in it for the sex" vibe. Though that is far from how I really am. Okay, sex can be great and all but I cherish genuine connections on a deep and emotional level.
Of course, it stung. I felt deceived. Long story short, I wrote her a long ass response (if it were to have been the last) wishing her well for the future. (She is a troubled soul. I knew early on) I told her to take care of herself yadda yadda yadda
Took her some time to be like "WAIT. DON'T GO." She regretted it all. And asked for another shot after explaining her situation to me through long convos blah blah blah. She felt that it was the right thing to do.
I am so forgiving. I decided to give her another shot but I went over some ground rules.

She's not really the type to be tied down and that conflicted with the way I functioned because I am a loyal persona. I told her if she wanted to get involved with me, I ain't dealin with any of that cheating bullshit because I have no issue with droppin people like it's hot. If I am in a relationship, the individual has to be devoted to me and only me. It was really hard on her but surprisingly, she was willing to try for me. Ever since, she's lost her game with everyone else because I have her whipped lmaooo. Sorry not sorry.
Both needed lots of reassurance. I still need reassurance from time to time. Anyway. She seems like a young soul to me while I am an old soul.