My friend Whitney has been acting very strangely for the past few days. She looked like she was crying, and she only appears in some of her classes, and I can't seem to find her anywhere. So on monday, i finally found her and she looked really upset, but she said she wanted to talk to me.so she pulled me aside into the bathroom (don't we all have heart to hearts in girls bathrooms)? And she broke down crying. I hugged her and told her it was okay, because I was sure she was crying about our friend Alex (the one who tried to kill herself). I asked her what was wrong, and she kept saying little bits and snippets that didn't make much sense. stuff like "everyone has changed so much in the past few days" which I took to mean that she meant that everyone had become more serious since the thing with alex. she kept murmuring stuff about how everything has changed so quickly, and then she said "I thought you liked me." now, she knows I'm gay. But, she didn't say it with any particular emotion. She just said "I thought you liked me," and then started babbling on about how she feels like she overanalyzes everything.I was very confused. was she crying because she thought i liked her and she didnt like me back? but she didn't want to talk anymore about it, so we hugged and went back to class. after that, she ignored me. she chatted with everyone else and acted like everything was normal, but she literally sprinted away when i came close. I didn't understand, but apparently she had started talking to her advisor, Ms. Ko. Ms. Ko didn't understand why she was so upset because apparently she was just babbling, but she heard my name mentioned and got in contact with my advisor to set up a time that day to have a facilitated conversation between whitney and I. So we had a conversation in front of three teachers, and she was talking a lot about how everything was moving so fast. a lot of what she was saying didn't actually make that much sense and it was almost like she was just saying random words, but we didn't question it because she seemed to be in a very vulnerable position. she eventually said, "I think I'm bi." at the time I thought nothing of it, and I was supportive. At the end of the meeting I assured her that I was okay with that, and that I wasn't mad at her or anything, and she seemed happy and satisfied. but then, we stepped out of the room and she started running away again and it was just as bad as when we started. so i was laying in bed thinking at night, about miranda, about whitney, and suddenly something sort of clicked, but i'll need to explain the backstory a little. so since I knew that miranda didn't like me back in the same way I like her, I decided it would be best to avoid her, because it would hurt too much and I would think too much about every little thing she said to me. I figured it wouldn't be hard (because she's in the high school and I'm in 8th grade-- different parts of the building). but, i forgot that thursday was community day, which is a collaboration between the high school and 8th grade. anyways, I passed her sitting on a rock with a friend, talking. I waved hi, and she clearly saw me but didn't wave back. And that hurt like HELL. I got away from there as fast as I could, because i figured that if her not waving back hurt that much, it might make me go insane if i had to hear straight from her face that she wasn't interested in me. so, I avoided her as much as I could. sounds familiar? yup. and to top it off with whipped cream, whitney left school early yesterday and Rebecca thinks it's about her. Rebecca is Whitney's best friend since kindergarden, and she is in a very emotionally unstable place. She has ADD, her friend Alex just tried to kill herself, and her mom's cancer relapsed and everyone is so busy talking about alex they've forgotten to ask her how she and her mom are doing. so Rebecca had a complete breakdown during spanish class, and had to leave. after that, there was a birthday party of two twins in our friend group. We were all hanging out after school waiting for their parents to pick us up, and another friend who wasnt invited decided to hang with us, and kept on asking us why we weren't running to catch our busses. We eventually had to tell her about the birthday party she wasn't invited to.
