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I'm sorry, but if you're reading this article, there's a good chance you are experiencing what I call the "Delta Male". Maybe the company you work for has a Delta Male as its leader. Perhaps your significant other is a Delta Male. Or maybe it's just a feeling of confusion and frustration that has been on your mind for too long and eating away at your happiness.
You probably feel like there is no solution to this problem, but below I have outlined how to take the headache out of being involved with someone who doesn't seem to consider anything positive about trying new things or growing as an individual. I will not make a single reference to any rock band whose name begins with the letter "D".
First, let me address the question: Why do people who are involved with Delta Males experience their own personal life issues? What's going on down there? Why can't they just accept that this person is who they are and stop trying to change them?
delta male vs beta male believe this question stems from an underlying problem. Because Delta Males do not take constructive criticism well, because they don't approach other people's opinions, goals, or interests with their full attention, and because they often lack emotional regulation skills needed to deal with the ups and downs of relationships, it becomes very easy for others to simply tune these individuals out.
So I'm not writing this article to simply say that the Delta Male is broken and needs fixing. That kind of thinking is one of the things that started your relationship with them in the first place (I'm sure you didn't find it strange when you first met them). Rather, I am writing this article to reclaim your rightful power back, to take away their control over your mind and heart.
The way you may have been looking at your Delta Male partner or friend up until now was from a powerless position. You don't feel heard by them, so you have been trying to change them. However, if you and I both know that they're not really going to change, then why are we still trying???
Instead of trying to change an adult, how about empowering yourself instead? I know this may sound like a really bold statement coming from someone who is not even your friend (I hope you don't think I'm weird), but by taking the knowledge in this piece and applying it to your own life, you will eventually realize that you can actually do it. You will start to see that there are decisions that need to be made in order for one's life to progress. It's time for you to be one of those decision-makers.
The Truth is, your Delta Male partner or friend is not your enemy. They're not the reason your life is in the state it's in. Just because they have a unique perspective on things doesn't mean you have to hate them for having it. People often assume that they are being "unfair" by not getting on board with their perspective, but if you think about it, what they are doing is actually giving you an opportunity to grow as a person.
This article is written for any Delta Male who has read my other pieces on what being involved with one of these people can be like. If you're not one of them, then I hope you keep reading. Maybe this will give you some insight into the mind of a Delta Male and what is going on in the life that is causing them to behave in such away.
For those of you Delta Males reading this, I want to take the opportunity to thank you for enlightening me about yourself, and for sharing your perspective with me. It was an interesting and eye-opening journey.
I'm really curious about the inner life of other Delta Males who are reading this right now. If you are, would you please share what you're feeling right now? It would mean a lot to me.
For those of you Delta Males who are reading this, I know that I'm probably not your first choice when it comes to advise on how to handle your life problems. And that's okay with me. Because the truth is, if I was actually in your shoes, I probably wouldn't be reading this article either. But since we can both read it, perhaps there is something here that will give us some understanding about the other person's perspective (because it's pretty clear we don't know or understand each other's perspectives).
What I've found is that it's not enough to just love someone. You can't just love them into figuring out their problems for themselves. If you do, then they may never grow into the person you need them to be.
Do you know what it's like when you're with someone who doesn't try new things with you? They may seem like they don't care about your wellbeing, or they could even seem like they don't care about others. They certainly don't seem like someone who is trying to develop the skills and knowledge needed to improve themselves and their future prospects. But if you give them enough time, they'll surprise you. Or maybe not, but I think this may be the case for me.
The truth is that no matter how long you see someone or how many issues come to light, there will always be something new to learn about each other. Respectfully asking these questions might help you understand your partner's perspective better than others who haven't stood in their shoes can.
What comes of this relationship? Will it improve or get worse based on your new knowledge? What did I learn about my partner's life through all of this messiness? It sounds like he has had a really hard time figuring out where he belongs in life. What does he think about his feelings and moods? Does he see them as a blessing or a curse? What is he going to do with the knowledge that something needs to change in his life? How can we make this relationship work? It sounds like neither of us is ready to handle the knowledge that we're both sharing. Why don't I know how to fix this situation???
This article is intended for those people who are dealing with the worst kind of Delta Males: The ones who don't even know they're Delta Males. You know, those guys who fly under everyone's radar and no one really knows much about them. They probably think they're just like everyone else.
If this is you, then you have been wondering if it's possible to be a "good" Delta Male. The first thing I want to say is that I don't think anyone can choose to be a good or bad Delta Male. The kind of person that you are has no relationship with the kind of person the world expects you to be.
This is especially true when it comes to living your life as an adult male in this society (of course, there are many other factors involved beyond your gender). Because we live in such a patriarchal society where the culture and religion both promote traditional roles for men and women, we tend to buy into these roles and follow them blindly. This causes many of us to become stuck in a rut and we can't seem to get out of it no matter how hard we try.
My Website: https://lemetropolelille.com/delta-male/
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