Notes

14 December Thursday, 03:23




Hi, Nika. Or Heeeeyyyy, Nika -by your words.- You know i always have a lot of things to say. And i have the same thing again, i really have alot of things to say. Don't know where to start talking and don't know when i will send you this text. (I want to wait for it 9 more days, which means 23 December, the day where we started to talk, you ignored my message when i ask you to check the date over and over. So it's just a predict, maybe it's 21 or 22 December.) Around 50 mins ago i start to write this text, i told you i'm gonna sleep. Yeah and i also tried to sleep as i said, but i just can't sleep for 1 weeks because of some reasons i don't know. So i wanted to write this text, because i can't sleep and wanted to chill/relaxing some time.




Alright, i'm gonna start with saying the truth about 19,999 character kind of essay. I hope you remember it, i feel like you didn't care it. Anyway, it was about you, i'm glad i don't have to send you it.(I was already doubt about you will read it, i was considering about delete some parts, because i was still writing some days. It could be longer.) No, i'm not gonna information about the content of it. No need to it anymore.




Today around 02:00 am at my time, and 10:00 at your time, your last message was "stop the show" etc. Then i said "you are angry" etc. (Well, that was a stupid message, i know. Main reason was my head is filled with a lot of things, you know. I thought about "no, i shouldn't send it now, it will be so dumb." but even so, i sended. Why i sended it even i know it will be dumb is... you will understand after read the text..) and you sended one more message at 02:50, i didn't look or read yet. Whatever, i realized we are talking so shit last 2 weeks. It's so toxic. Since your grandma died, (rip :/ ) it feels like.... i don't know how to explain that but you are really cold to me. I don't enjoy when we talking anymore. And i think you don't enjoy anymore as well. I really hate unanswered/ignored messages.. And you know that well.. Even though that, you ignored a lot of messages especially last 1 week. It's annoying and disrespectful for me. (3 days ago I stop talking with my highschool friend just because he didn't answer my question, "Are we gonna play Cod tonight?" He is always doing that and it was the last time i can handle for him.) I hope you not think i'm mad on you, i just felt you have the same thing like me. Especially for 1 weeks, i can't even think something to tell you. Maybe it's because i don't want to bother you with spams even you said it doesn't bother me. (Btw i will always be curious about if you "really" like the spams i'm doing.) Or maybe i see you'r bored to talk with me and stop it. That's why i didn't want to spam. I don't want this text to make you and me feel like a highschool teenager's love/friendship story * GÜLEN KEDİ EMOJİSİ * but i guess it will. I just think we both lost interest on each other. And i think it should be end in peace, not with arguing.




Well, yesterday (13 December) i told you i'm not jealous on you anymore. You asked where did it come from. Tbh, it came from i totally realized you are cold and it become a toxic friendship. I don't want to write it again but, which means you lost interest on me and then i lost my interest on you as i wrote at up. :/ When i/someone lost my/his,her interest to someone.. that result is inevitable. You just don't want to talk anymore if she/he is cold to you. (At least if you have proud and brain)
Whatever, that was the reason why i said i'm not jealous on you anymore, but it still means i love/like you *RAİSED KAS İŞTE*
I wonder how are you talking with 4 guy. (2 American -they are soo intelligent *O HAHA* 1 me and 1 Russian, that's all if you didn't add someone else *O HAHA* You are so active on social media apps, or another comminucate apps so i would not be shocked if you talk with another guy.) I mean, for example, you telling me that " i have to be vaccined for college ", are you telling that to another 3 guy/+3 guy? Yeah i will be curious about that too. I'm not good at talking with 3-4 girl. And don't have time too, you know. Even i have the time, i still couldn't do it i guess. It's not an easy thing, CONGRATSS NIKA!!! **GÜLEN KEDİ**




Btw, i wish you know why i typed the date i write this. )) It's about the text with 19,999 character but not a big deal so fuck it. And don't underestimate 19,999.. i will tell you how much character is this text when it done. I think it's around 3,300 character now, or 4000. Just imagine a lot of big long texts with 3000 character. The text with +19,999 character were like that way.




I guess i'm writing last things i want to say, i'm very sleepy and tired. It's 5 am right now, i had a small break. I can't wait to sleep 2 more hours.. I have to be quick to finish this text and go to bed.




Even though our conversation is over in short time, i'm glad to spend my free/unfree time on you. With spamming message or preparing all of the texts.. I don't regret it and don't think it's time waste. You know how time is important for me.

I realized i'm doing MAAANNNYY mistake even it's small when i texting in English. Talking with you is made me realize it, thank you for that. I'm more careful now, i hope i don't have any mistake at this text.
I got a lot of good things with talking with you. I'm not gonna think all of these good things and write, just trust me like old days. I got good things. For example, remember the being a positive guy, stop myself on jealousy..)) I can say that 2 good thing without even need to think ))
But.. I'm also glad i didn't talk to you about sprits. It was very private for my friend and i would feel like i betrayed to him, especially after we stop comminucate with you, i would feel x2 dumb, x2 ass, x2 betrayer..





Last part of the texts... It's almost end..




Well, as you can understand, i will directly delete Snapchat and VK. Accounts will stay, especially VK account will stay. I won't delete it, already didn't create it for you. I will log out from browser and delete the app on phone. I would like to celebrate your birthday at 7 May, so i will log in to account at 7 May to celebrate your birthday. And after 1 month 13 day,(17 June) i will go to exam.. I hope i will get what i wanted. I will still use my Tiktok account with the gif. I don't want to change it. You can unf me if you want, it's ok. And... For the HelloTalk account. I'm talking to a person, it will not be long, maybe today or tomorrow we stop it. We talking for a few days and i didn't want to talk that long, i just don't have energy to talk someone anymore. And no, i'm not texting long or spamming like i did to you. I didn't send anyone long texts or many messages except you. So probably, till 23 December, we will stop talking. I need to consider about if i want to delete my HelloTalk account or not.. There are our messages.... even you don't really care.. And i want it to keep as a memory. I really don't have any idea. Maybe i will had a decision till 23 December.



Well.. You were really a pleasant and good friend. I don't wanna compliment to you as i said before because it will mean nothing for you, you already having compliment from guys every fucking day. Compliments = Just normal words for you. So not need to. But i want to do a bit.. this is the last text anyway. Whatever, i will not try to break my promise to you even we stop communicating and i will not change my routine things i got from you, like wake up with GUMA as alarm music. You were a good motivation source for me, that's why i don't think i will forget you even you forget me *GÜLEN KEDİ* I know you will talk with a lot of guy afer me, im not first and will not be last. And that's why its not really very hard to forget me. *GÜLEN KEDİ* It's ok, you are intelligent so try not to forget me until 7 May *SİNİRLİ EMOJİ* I WILL MISS RUSSIAN LAUGH VERY MUCH!! I would like to use parentheses Russian laugh everywhere but unfortunately people will think i'm stupid or don't have " : " on my keyboard so.. yeah i will miss it. Btw, there is one more thing i want to admit, no it's not about i fall in love to you *YANDAN GÜLME, i don't have a feeling to you like that, i will remember you as a nice friend. I will not tell you the thing i want to admit. I will keep it to myself **KALPLİ EMOJİ*


Okay last sentences.. Now i will talk so egoist/egoistic. I'm the one of the best rarely turkish. turkish people %95 is stupid,dumb and i'm one of the remaining %5 *SMİRK* I have a feeling when you come to turkey you will be together with some turkish guys, because you want me to angry even i don't know. If you have a intend to do it... DON'T ! i will get my revenge in otherworld, i swear!! God.. My reaction here was so funny. Wish we meet on different ways. Like i born in Magadan.. I hate turkish people and they don't deserve you. Go find a Arab, they are rich and maybe "a bit" better than turkish *CAT LAUGHİNGS* If you go into a interview like you had before,(like glove, on tiktok) and they want you to tell something you know in turkey/turkish, tell them that " i had a turkish friend he was ass. even he was ass i used to like him once. turkey and turkish people are suck "




Anyways, that is all i want to say. It's 6 am. Lol maybe you will not believe me but it's really 6 am and it was 5 am. It wasn't even 6.01 am or 5:11 am. Directly 5 and 6 am.

Thanks you for everything, now i will sleep 1:30 hour which means weather is gonna be light. And i will answer your message, i hope you didn't wrote me a mad message. If you telling fuck you Gokhie right now, (wait.. you not telling me Gokhie, why i still don't know.. another ignored question is this..) then don't!! :(

Love yaaaaa, alwayssssssssssssssssssss, take care of yourself!



And there is 9852 character in this text.. Wow.. With these words its 9900 probably *GÜLEN SU ÇIKAN EMOJİ Yeah sorry for long text. That is the last.








even i dont want

bana inat trlerle birlkte olcn ama ing bilenini blmak zor


nie cagirirsinki knsmak istemesn


ve şu mal turkler-suriyeliler-afganlardan uzak dur, kimseye guvenme bunlar ruslardan daha farklı kisiliklere sahip, her gün kadın tecavuzu/öldurulusu ile uyanmak yoruldum. bugun yani 14de bir kadina asansorde tecavuz edilip tekmelemiş bir çocuk. oxellikle geceleri disari cikma veya 1 adam ile brlikte asansore binme