Notes

People often ask me why i don't do interveiw's about it or why i seem so emotionless about the situation. I am one of those people where it takes me a long time to process things, if it does not feel it then i don't think its real, it took me a good year to come to terms with the fame and the attention i get for something so small like what my favourite lipstick is. So, for me to come to terms with the fact that i have lost someone forever who was like a best friend, brother and father all rolled into one the pain is unthinkable, the reason why i try to talk about it as least as
is so i don't break down, when there are people that were closer and knew him for longer then i have, it almost fell silly to me when there is his daughter out there without a father. I say without or i have lost him forever WE haven't, we still have the memories and the love we still feel for him but sadly , so sadly, there will be no new memories that is what i mean. As the whole world mourned i stood there in silence thinking about who and what we have loved and lost, there are not many things that leave me speechless, but this did. The feeling of not being able to describe how much something or someone meant to you is dreadful and i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. They all sang the song but i don't fell that is enough i feel that anything will ever be enough. There is too much irony in the fact that we don't appriciate or show our respect , out loud at least, to someone or something until it or they are gone. It is almost impossible for me to not fell guilty about the sitution. But something that touched our hearts is the way the whole world in sync mourned and laughed at his funny moments, cried at his speeches or memorable quotes or the way that we all appricated him and his kindness and his nature. for the longest time i was just angry at the situation and why it had to be him, why it was one of the only pure souls that was taken, why it wasnt me, but i realised life isnt fair and it dosnt pick and choose who is to be taken. One of the I only ask all of you to appriciate Thank you to everyone that comforted me throughout this painfull time. Thank you to everyone that just showed the realest love to him and his family and eachother , thank you for understanding and just know that he is always in our thoughts ,memories, prayers, hearts and laughter.