Notes

Of course I will! I'm always willing to help someone in need, especially when it's about love. However, I might not be the best person to ask, as my love life is, well, just one big failure after another. Using all the mistakes that I've made, guides, articles, what I’ve heard, and first-hand experiences, I’m glad to say that I have some knowledge, and I'm happy to share that with you and help you out the best I can. Let's get started.
I'm going to assume that you are a boy. Let’s call you, err, Will for now, and you are 13. Let's say that the girl you like is named Mary, and she's 13 too. Well Will, the first thing you are going to do is to try and sort out your feelings. It seems like you really already did, and it sounds like that you are absolutely sure you like her, and you want to turn it into something maybe a bit more. If you sometimes feel euphoria, or in other words a feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness whenever you see her, talk to her, or anything about her, then you definitely like her. Once you've figured all this out, it will help you if you know for sure that you want to do something, and are willing to make a commitment. Relationships aren't just fun and games, they are serious business. But, I'm getting a little ahead of myself here. Let's move on.
So you know for sure that you like her. The "love" part will come later, hopefully. But what now? Well, Will, now it's time to assess and evaluate your situation. Do you know her very well, or even at all? Does she hopefully know you? Are you guys’ acquaintances, friends, close friends, best friends, or what? Do you think she might like you back? Those are some of the questions that you should be asking. Will, think of this like chess, or a video game, or a sport. It's great if you have a plan, which doesn't always mean that you will succeed, but it will definitely raise your chances of succeeding. So, if you already know what the answers to some of the questions are above, then move on to the next section. If you don't, keep reading. Let's assume that you don't know anything about Mary, or very little. You saw her a few times; maybe you gave her a wave or something when you were walking down the hallway, and BAM! Instant Crush. I get it. She might look pretty nice, or maybe she did something that you liked. I hate to tell you this, but that’s kind of shallow just to like someone just because they look nice. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing that they look nice, no; in fact it’s a good thing. I’m just saying that you should get to know her a bit more before making any decisions or actions. I understand that it’s kind of hard for some people to get to know someone new, but it’s actually really easy. Start small; say hi or hello whenever you see her, smile, wave, or nod, whatever. Do something to show her that you actually acknowledge the fact that she’s even there, and that you notice her. Eventually, she might start doing it back or maybe even talk with you a few times. Don’t expect to get a big reaction or anything that might come with time. If Mary is really friendly, and does give you a somewhat nice reaction, then that makes it even easier to get to know her. If she’s not, then even the most subtle reactions are important, even if they might not seem to. The next thing you will need to do know that you guys have acknowledged each other is to introduce yourself. Its better if you do it face to face, but if you can’t then wait for the perfect opportunity, like when you have to share something with a large group of people (Mary included), or if she needs help with something then help her. It may not play out like a scene from High School Musical or something, but it doesn’t have to. Just introduce yourself, say something that you think she might like about you (Never, ever, ever lie.) say something nice to her or about her, and then say something that might trigger interaction again, like “Hey, if you ever need anything let me know”, or “Hey, I’ll see you around.” Try not to act awkward. First impressions do count, so act friendly, relaxed, and warm. It will make it so that she will more likely remember you, and do so in a good way. Imagine her as just a friend, for now. You don’t want to be treating her like you love her or she loves you. That might creep her out, or make her feel really weird, and she will get even farther from your grasp. Now, keep getting closer and closer as a friend. Something that helps is to start hanging out with some of her friends, which in turn makes it easier to hang out with her in general. Just make sure to actually want to be their friend and that if she hangs out with mostly girls, it makes things a bit awkward if you are like the only guy. No one likes being used, even if it’s for a somewhat noble cause. If you really can’t hang out with her friends, always try to be friendly and outgoing towards her, and help her out whenever you can. Be confident in everything you do, girls love confidence. Keep in mind that all of this requires patience. Things won’t happen immediately, but they will happen. If you try to rush them, or seem obsessive, they will end up bad, and Mary might think that you are desperate, which is a huge no-no for girls. After a while, she’s hopefully now your friend, and we can move on to the next part of our plan.
Now Mary is your friend, or has been one for a while. Or, if she’s not your friend, then she is either your best friend, close friend, or you know her a little bit more than an acquaintance, but less than an actual friend. Either way, you know about her. You may know what she likes or don’t like, her hobbies, her personality, etc. All this will help you if you decide to keep moving on with your plan. By now, you should know if she is worth it to like or date, or not. If she is, then go ahead, you worked pretty hard up to now, and you should keep going. Now comes the part that may vary depending on who Mary is. Everyone takes and thinks about love in a different way and therefore like different things. Mary is no different. If she is more of a close friend or best friend, then she should know about you too. In this situation, you should really just go up to her, describe your feelings, and ask her if she feels the same, or maybe is starting too. That might seem kind of hard, but if she is worth it then just try. It’s better than sending her a note or asking your friend to do it for you. She will like your confidence (or your attempt at it at least), and besides, if you guys are as close as you were, why should this be any different than normal? You guys should already be easy around each other. Anyways, when you are asking, don’t pressure her into it, and especially don’t make her or your friends do it. Be gentle about it, and if she says things like ‘I’m sorry, we are just too good of friends,” or just a straight out “no”, then don’t keep on persisting or trying, and accept it. Give her some time. She might reconsider, or not. If you keep persisting, then you could permanently harm your friendship, and trust me, this has happened to me before. It’s extremely hard for things to come back close to normal, and if it doesn’t you guys might not be friends anymore, and that’s just not worth it. It’s better to keep your feelings a secret after that if you keep having them, and just wait, just in case she might reconsider in the future. Don’t bring it back up again, and if she starts seeing or dating other guys, don’t get jealous or insulted. It’s not your right to do so, as you and she were never in a relationship in the first place. Also, isn’t her happiness worth more than yours? If she meets a nice guy that makes her happy, support her in what she does. For now, just going back to being normal is the best thing you should do. Don’t forget about it, although sometimes it is better to forget about it then feeling hurt. Trust me, I know how it feels. Being friend-zoned is terrible. Just wait, your time might come, or it may not. If she does accept you, then congratulations! Studies have proven that dating and/or marrying your close/best friend has many benefits, including a longer relationship, and increased understanding. There are still some awkward moments though.
If Mary is more of just a normal friend, then start hanging out with her more, and try to be alone with her. Try not to be creepy or dominating though. If she doesn’t want to do something you want, don’t force her into it. Wait for the perfect opportunity. You might or might not realize it, but they do come. Some examples would be like whenever you guys are at public events, like dances or concerts. Give her more attention. Make more eye contact, and definitely try to have your touches, whether casual or purposeful, linger longer. Maybe if you brush your hand against hers by accident, do it a bit slower, among other things. Don’t do things like the “Put your arm across her shoulder” little routine. That’s just cliché. Anyways, see how she reacts to what you do. If she doesn’t resist, or look away, then it is usually a sign that she accepts you and haven’t crossed the line into creepiness. Try a few more things at different times. Don’t rush. Just be careful though. Some people are just either very touchy or touching. She might not just respond well to being touched, but they does not mean she doesn’t like you or anything. Same thing goes the other way. She might just touch you a lot, but as a friend. Don’t confuse that with her liking you. This goes for all types of friends, both closer and farther. After a while, she might start leaning in closer or feel more relaxed whenever she touches you, and won’t look away when you guy make eye contact.
All that’s left now is the timing and location to ask her out. Look for times when you guys are alone, and especially when both of you feels “the mood”, as I call it, or when you guys are planning to leave and depart from each other’s company. When things might start getting a bit quiet, especially after a laugh, and both of you guys might look at the other with the corner of your eyes and sneak peeks at each other, and end up making eye contact, you know that’s the time. Make her turn around so she is facing you, if she already isn’t. Make direct eye contact. This is also one of those times when you can vary. Some, if not many, girls like something called chivalry. It’s a bit formal, and you make her feel like a lady. You can hold her hand, raise it, and kiss it all the while maintaining eye contact. Other girls, however, like funny yet sweet ways of asking. You can try to make a joke, it doesn’t have to be good. The more it makes her laugh, the better, no matter if it is good or bad. It will break the tension, and make asking a lot easier, if not raising her chances of saying yes. Now you actually ask her. Don’t use any “pick-up” lines. But, if they are original and your own, that are actually respectful and charming, feel free to use them. Ask her in a respectful and confident way. You can just ask if she would like to date you, or if she would like to meet up somewhere for an actual date. If she says yes, have a relieved facial expression and hug her or something. Congrats. If she says no, don’t get angry or aggressive. Just accept it, and say that you still want to be friends. Maybe it’s not your fault. Maybe she likes you but can’t date, or she has something going on right now that takes her focus away from you. Maybe she needs more time to think. It’s a bunch of maybes and ifs, but they could be happening. Or, maybe she just doesn’t like you. Either way, just accept that fact and move on. Thank her for her time and say goodbye, and then leave. Just leave in a normal way. Don’t storm away, be stiff, or make a fuss. It will make things a lot better when you guys see each other again. Depending on how things turned out, you might want to give her some time alone just in case.
That’s really all you need to know. It was very long, and it took a while, and I apologize for that, but I just wanted to give you good, through advice. Instead of following all this advice, you could just walk up and straight out ask her. She might say yes, she might say no, but if you do follow these instructions, then it will definitely raise her chances of saying yes. Unless, of course, you screw everything up. If she said yes, then if you need more advice for actually being in a relationship, just ask me another question. I’ll be glad to help. The work isn’t over yet just because she said yes!