Notes

so,, we've been together, long distance dating, for over eight months, and being the age i am and the situations we're both in, it doesn't seem like we're going to see each other in person anytime soon.
emotional connection is a large part of relationships and all, but the other part is physical touch, and that's a cut out piece in long distance relationships.
but i've always known this in advance and i've always thought that i'm capable of keeping a relationship alive even without the sense of touch, but you're the longest i've ever been with and
it seems that this thought was overturned.
you see, i haven't been in a relationship without physical contact long enough, to ever know if i was right or not. i haven't ever been able to keep a long distance relationship for longer than four months, until i got with you.
in the beginning, you were just recovering from a break up and i was single for what seemed like forever to me, but truly i never let you heal and i never let myself heal. i was desperate and pushing you to be with me. i never really thought in the beginning, that we would have a relationship that was actually going to be a priority to one another, as i had thought it was just going to be another failure, like the other relationships i've had online.
yet being with you, i've learned so many new things. i genuinely feel like i've made myself a better person and i'm more aware of others, including myself.
but i'm not gonna lie to you and say that i've been busy everyday so i'm not capable of talking to you. the truth is, i've been really reluctant to talk to you, as i feel that the "spark" we had in the beginning isn't there anymore. whenever we talk, it's very small talk about music, and if it isn't about that, it's about how your mental sickness is controlling you, and is rejecting your opportunities in life. i'm really sorry, but that's how it is, or at least how i interpet it. (don't listen to me though, i'm not able to relate to the level of anxiety and other problems you have.) i do not at all want to seem rude, as i very much admire you, but it seems that our relationship has become like a chore (in the least mean sense) and all the fun has been drained out. i feel more like a mother figure (lol) than a gf.
our relationship has become dull, and it isn't just how it used to be (in the sense that we used to be lovestruck and talking about every little thing and ignoring each others flaws.)
it's all just really how i really feel, and i'm not willing to just continue hanging on to an unwanted relationship and lie to you forever.
but with all of this aside, and taking a step in reality, i'm too young to date, and our relationship couldn't ever actually get serious unless we stayed with each other for like 10 year or something. either way, the 8 months we spent together shouldn't be a waste, as i enjoyed your company and i hope you enjoyed mine too. no hard feelings should be passed around, as i will always care and respect you. for the last time as your gf, i love you.
you will find someone fit for you one day, once you find yourself, i promise. just try and help yourself, hang out with friends, and you will be fine!
i wish you the best of luck with everything, including university, and you can always talk to me if you ever want or need something.