Notes

Hello, if you are reading this I am most likely dead. I’m sorry. There was no other choice.

Why did you kill yourself?

I committed suicide for one simple reason. My acts are fault of NOBODY except for myself. NOT A SINGLE PERSON IS RESPONSIBLE EXCEPT FOR ME. If I am dead please, please do not blame yourself because there is likely nothing you could have done to change this outcome.
The reason I committed suicide was because of failure. I have come to the realization that I do not belong in this world. I am a person who is content in any state of existence; which is unfortunate because those who are successful are people who have to work hard for a successful life. Recently these past few months I have been unable to complete even the most basic human tasks that everyday people do.
All my life I have been setup for success. My loving parents did everything they possibly could do to make sure I was a successful human being in this world. In-fact, they went above and beyond the average parents to make sure I turned into something when I got older. Not just my parents, but almost everyone I have ever met has supported me into becoming a success. My failure despite all of this is what made me realize that the life I have could not get any better but only towards a downward spiral. It’s at this point that I can’t live with myself with the guilt I will have for the rest of my life for letting everybody down. Especially my parents, who would give anything to see me, do better.
That’s it, there’s no other reason. This thought has stayed in my head for a long period of time and it is now that I must face the reality of failure. Living would just put more burdens on my parents to carry me through life as I give success another try, even though I have had multiple chances. My death will prevent any more burdens in the future to my parents. The stress they take every day for their entire lives is killing them each day, and I can’t live with myself knowing the pain I have caused them. For that, pain, I cannot describe how sorry I am for letting you do all of this for me while I throw it all away.

To my family:

Again, please do not blame yourself; it’s my own fault that it has come to this circumstance. The only thing I want is for you all to be happy and to live without the worry that I will come home one day a failure. There’s no way Natasha will fail after the success she’s had. Despite the constant struggle between everybody she knows she still wakes up in the morning and does it all over again. She fights for everything that she is and that she has. Natasha is going to go great places. All my life I have only ever been good at one thing, and that’s talking to people. This is probably why you may not have seen my suicide coming either. I really wanted to reach out for help. God knows I have tried many times to try and get help. But my stubbornness and pride has kept me quiet because wouldn't be able to be happy with you all worried.

All I want is for you all to be happy. That’s all I ever tried to do. I’m sorry I failed you.

Love, your son.