Notes

I will want to write here my felling's.. I fell like crying I fell like idk but I feel like if a hole is getting bigger on my stomach I fell like when I think about my things I just want to cry and scream. My parents think I'm crying because they took my phone away but I'm actually crying because I miss texting him. Or alest saying hi. He was such a good friend but I think they didn't know that. My mom says he didn't answer the last time I send him a message and that's why hes not such as a good friend but I saw he did answer. idk why they took my phone away. I do admit it I send that bad word t him but its a mistake I did I never thought it would've bring me to this things. I'm sad and I wish I could've tell this to my mom but I think she would not understand and I guess she would get me in trouble because I saw that he did send me a message and I'm going to be honest but I was not trying to come up with something bad or I was not expecting to do something bad. I'm going to be honest I don't even know why I did that. I fell weird because my dad knows about this I fell like hes the one that doesn't understand why I fell like this. He thinks I'm a cualkiera I fell so sad but idk what to do any more I fell like I should talk to them but idk if they would never understand. they say they want the best for me and I know that but things like that will never be fixed if they take away my phone. they think I'm crying for a random thing but they don't fell what I fell I'm so sad I want talk to someone about this. I just want to talk and wake up like if it was a dream. a lot of things had happen to me but not like this one. I already made 1 week with out my phone I did it. it was hard but I had to do it and I didn't get my phone with permission I have such ass good grades and I'm not down. And yeah I do fake a smile so nobody would notice my felling's. you may wonder why I don't tell my mom or dad but they would say I don't have to cry for something I don't have to. its sad nobody understands me they would think I'm crazy but I'm not and I cant tell none of my family why??? because my cousins would laugh at me. at least the only person that hears me and fells me would be God hes the only one that understands me. And hes the last one I look for when these things are happening to me. I feel lonely I need to talk to him. I had talk to God every night and every morning but I think he doesn't hears me. I fell so sad my head hurts and idk why but every morning I say why I'm I still up I should never wake up again. 😢😪😣😫😭😭😞😞🧨💔💔:(