Notes

My mother has always acted like she is perfect. She lies about things in the most obviously not true ways. A couple nights ago I got really mad and made sure not to break it but punched it a few times and then she accused me of “attempting to murder her and the dog” and every time I even raise my voice she hugged him and says “I’m sorry” and says I’m abusive and l know for a fact that I’m not. Tonight she made me turn off my second pc (I use it to mine crypto and we have solar so she pays negative for energy) and I asked “why” and she responded with “I don’t need to respond to you because your a minor” and I was unbelievably angry because she feels like just because she’s older means that she is entitled to this. I then wad just letting all out on my chair, then she barges in with a recording of me letting my feelings out and she said that I’m going to end up abusive like my father when I was just letting out my emotions on an chair and not hurting anyone. Right after that I started sobbing about why she says all those things, not hitting anything and not yelling just crying. And at this point she’s just making me just want to kill myself but I know not to no matter how much I want to because of my future I want to experience. Then after a few minutes of crying she barged in again telling me to stop and telling me that I’m wrong about that and I told her this is how I feel and I can’t be wrong about that she still told me that I was wrong and I told her that your just adding to what I was crying about and she didn’t care just told me to stop, that I was lying, then she left.