Notes

Your name is DAMMEK. Just DAMMEK is fine. And right now, you fucked up big time. You wish you had butterflies in your stomach, but it doesn’t feel like you do. Instead, it feels like you have worms. Worms that’s writhe around and chew at the inside of your intestines whenever you think about your feelings. So, you try not to think about how you feel. You mask yourself as ‘cool, stoic, witty Dammek’, which is;unfortunately, not the Dammek you want to be. Not tonight. Your blood pusher aches. You think you might tear yourself open from the inside out like a black hole. No big deal, just talk to Xefros like a normal troll. You’re staring at your husktop. Just move your idiot dumbass fingers already! Type something! Anything!
DT began pestering X
DT: yo
Seriously?
DT: uh
DT: we need tto ttalk.
Oh gog, oh gog. You can feel your pulse in your windpipe. Xefros is typing, and you’re dreading the response. Maybe if you shut your computer and tossed it out your hive window, you wouldn’t have to deal with this.
X: i don’t want to talk to you.
DT: xeF please
Your hands are shaking. You need to fix this. You choose your next words carefully.
DT: xeF i’m sorry.
Typing those words already makes you feel a million times better. You keep going.
DT: i mean itt
DT: i dontt know why you listten to me xeF
DT: i dontt give good advice
DT: im nott even a good moirail
DT: i know im not
Wow, this is hard. You gasp for breath. When did you ever stop breathing?
DT: i justt wantt tto lett you know itts nott your faultt
DT: i shouldntt have gotten mad like that
DT: i pitty you bro
DT: i’m sorry.
You pause. Xefros isn’t typing anymore. Maybe he’s left. Maybe he’s shut off his computer and went back to sleep. Maybe he’s even crying.
You hope he isn’t.
DT: you dontt have to forgive me.

Wow. You bite the inside of your cheeks when you see Xefros typing back. You beg, ‘hate me, hate me, hate me, for the love of all that is good please hate me, i deserve it.’

X: Dammek..........
X: i think i forgive you

You shut your husktop. Gog, your Alternia’s worst moirail.