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grian (please dont read this, its... yeah) - god i cant get the feeling of his hands or him in me out of me, it hurt so much, he wouldn't listen to me as i begged him and cried as he grabbed me by the throat and shoved me to the wall... he was smiling, i remember that as clear as day. he forced me out of my pants and sweater and got really aggressive when he saw the marks that doc n ren left on me, he broke my glasses too- i remember that. he gagged me with a cloth that tasted really gross - drug like almost - n i remember massive pain in my tail, right wing, and right side bc he threw me into a different wall, it still hurts a lot there- i think its bruising. then i remember being grabbed again n a plush like fabric on my back n panicking a lot before smth really cold (i think it was chains, its hard to see without my glasses) touched my wrists n then i couldn't move them n i remember my legs being painfully spread out n forced to where my wrists were n that hurt a lot. then i remember the sound of a zipper n the taste of salt n smth big n unwelcomed pressing into me.. i remember a lot of pain n it going on for 2 hours n he didn't pull out once

i don't think m going to be okay w touch for a while
or tell renny or doc bout this
they.. cant know

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