Notes

Okay so not really sure where i should even begin. Last time i actaully sat down and wortr abojut how i feel was a lot time ago. Well now im 18 and live on my own. it snver beeen this hard before but now i have to pay bills get a job and all that kind of stuff. Its harder then you think. I used to think growing up would be easy but i was 100% wrong its the oopiste of that., Grwoing uo comes w a lot of resptionableiyy you have to l.eard to how muatre very qickly and learn how to do things on oyhour own. honestly im so high idek what im tgryping right now but abby and zac are in my bed rn making out making me feel very uncolnfotrable. This year started off okay but then things just got worse.l I git kicked out of my own house, ran aways from home whcih wasnt a good kidea and now look at where im at. Alone and on my own. Okay like frfr can they plase stop makingout its making me hella uncofotable like wtf. Okay so i just checked my phone hoping maybe they'd stop or whatever but of course i was wrong they back at it again. I mean common cant you be respetful of my place yk but i guess they cant do that. i wish abbie was not doing this so i could talk to her but its fine. lmao idk why this is reminding me so much of some shit amy would do. Like at least amy was a little better and wouldn't bring random guys to my house and not even tell me and then just start going at it. omg okay so now hes taking off this belt like bro get the fuck out. okay so this has happened before when christan ians friend came over when abbie was here and asked if he could fuck her in my shower and ofc they did . This makes me want to leave my own house. Im not doing good at all like i cant keep going out to parties and shit you know like i cant do that every damn night and not get any sleep and not get my work done like ashley you need to get youre life back together but i don't know how to. Oh great now whats he doing pulling out a condom like bro frrr i cant be in this room but whatever. I swaer if i hear shit ima blow up like go in the fucking bathroom. Or yk just be asshole and fuck right there on my bed thats cool too. I'm littearly wide awake sitting on the floor and i can hear everything they are saying. Oh also i have more tea, soooo my ex Alvaro came over yesterday and we went to a party and lemme tell you that did not turn out the way i thought it would. Somehow the security ended up coming and kicked him out and then i guess the cops were gonna come but they didn't so i dont know what happened