Notes

August 17, 2020
Hi Gdhu,
This note doesn't belong to you Tarun Saini this is for my one and only My Love Gdhu. who ones loved. Plz Tarun bnke mt pdhna esko becaz Tarun doesn't have feeling he have lost all his feeling doon't know where. So U can be my gdhu for sometime. Ager nhi bhi pdhna hoga tb bhi tumhari echa h Maine kbhi tumhe kisi chiz k lie force nhi kia or ab to bilkul bhi nhin kr skti. koe option hi nhi bcha h. mujhe baat krni hoti h apna mood thk krne k lie bt m to vo bhi deserve nhi krti hu. Let it be mere drd kl bhi mere the aaj bhi mere h thodi der aa kr k koe bhula jata or phr chod k chle jate h. to ab unhi k sath jina h. jaise halt ho chukli h meri zyada m nhi g paungi pta ni kitni c lyf bchi h oe vo bhi ese hi nikl jaegi. ese pdne k bd tumhare kya reactions honge mujhe nhi pta gussa kroge ya kya hi kroge.
Ek baat bolu dont fake anything which you are doing. oro se to tum jhuth bol lete ho unko ignore bhi kr lete ho pe khud se puchna k how really you feel. thoda janti hu tumhe kesa feel hota h. Maine tumhe pyr pta h srf apne lie nhi kia h k m apne gmo ko bhula sku. I always wanted to be with you in your thick and thin. a;ways be there for you. and I will be there alwqays. pr mere akele k chahne se kuch bhi nhi hoga. and you have already decided to leave me. I want to hold you back bt I failed. I tried bt shyd meriesi koshish n mujhe tumse or door kr dia h. uth k roz jo call krti thi msg krti thi vo dp dekti thi ab to vo bhi nhi rha ab to bnha se bhi block kr dia h tumne. us din kash ek baar block krne se phle pyr se puch lete k kya hua h. pr usse acha tumhe mujhe block krna acha lga. its been more than one week im not so well. hospitalized twice within 3 mnths jst to servive. bt this servivcal hurts even more. why this is getting so worst for me . I dont have any control on my feelings. or uska natija knhi na knhi mere parents ko bhi bhugtna pd rha h kynki m unse bt hi nhi krti. mujhe pta h k agr m kisi se baat krungi to ro pdungi to baat bhi nhi krti. subh uth k nhana k so jati hu. kynki kisiko pta thode chlta h k aap so rhe ho ya ro rhe ho. daily ka routine ho gya h. phle kbhi kbhi tumhe msg kr leti thi. tumhe online dekh k khush ho leti thi. now whatsapp blocked call blocked text msg blocked, insta muted fb muted. chlo koe na tumhari mrzi h vese bhi tumhari mrzi k agge kisi k nhi chli h. tumne than hi lia h.
Meri life m bhut km log the jinke m bhut krib thi pr ab m akeli hu. koe mere sath nhi h shyd m etni hi buri bn gyi hu k koe mere sath nhi rhna chahta h. I have given mine everything to those perasons who are close to me in return I get loniless. Shyd maine sbko apne sath apne pass rkhna chaha usi koshish m sb kuch gwa dia. ek k lie kuch kia to dusra naraz ho gya or dusre k lie kuch kia to phla naraz ho gya. or kbhi khud k lie kuch krna chaha tb sbne suna k chod dia. akeli rh gyi hu. JIs chiz se sbse zyada dr lgta h aj mahol hi pura esa bn gya h. JItna mujhse hua maine kia to phr bhi vo km kyn pd gya. kya hlti thi meri k maine phr se pyr kia.
tum bhut ache ho ese hon rhna mana tumhre kuch spne tute pr uski bjh se tumne sb kuch chod dia h pr esa nhi hotah na. bhut se moke aaenge ye bimari bhi khtrm ho jaegi and i wish you will achieve evrything you want in your life. or mujhe pura vishwas h k tum phe se apne dreams ko pura kroge.
agr hho ske to unblock kr dena kynki m dekh nhi pati hu to or duckh hota h k kya m es kabil bhi nhi hu.
I will still wait for you and love you always. mere word m gussa h narazgi h pr inkin bhi koe bjh hogi. t
ek baar to try krte mujhe apni dikt btane k agr tumhara sath sun k bhi nhi dete to tum bolte tumne to mujhe phle hi hra dia.
do whatever u wanna do. pta shyd dono ko pta tha k ending m hm sath nhi honge becz u never want love marrige jst becz of ur parents. thk h yr I never forced u for that haa I have always wanted u forever bt thk h na kuch esa hota to m khud ko smjha leti or us tym p ye shyd mere lie esi bhi hota dukh utna hi hota pr bnha khud ko smjhana pdta or vo itna dukh nhi hota. pr ese beech raste m muh mod lena knha ka insaf h....................
Maine aaj bhi wait krti hu kl bhi krungi kynki jb tk mere bs m hoga tb tk uske baad ka nhi bol skti. kya pta m rhu hi na tb tk. or tum kitni bhi koshish kr lo avoid krne k bt usse srf mujhe or dukh hoga m bhulungi nhi. jitna avoid kroge utna zyada yaad aaoge