Notes

when he broke up with me, I didn't really care since we were only going out for four days so it didn't really matter to me, but when I really thought about it, I knew that I actually cared about him and I actually liked him, but when we were dating I always used to think he was way out my league and that he just came to my house for my sister because I thought he liked my sister, you know when you like someone so much that your heart hurts so much because they don't like you back because you can see the way they look in your eyes in a BSF way? ye that's my situation right now. I kind of started to feel more confident in myself when we were together and it made me feel like someone actually loved and cared about me... I feel like I want to explode with rage and tears, I'm so angry at myself because I fell in love too quick and I'm upset because I knew it wasn't going to last but I still fell too quick. I know everyone has been through this before and haven't wrote about it like I am right now but, If I just want to get all the pain out by typing it on a computing instead of talking to someone about it, it's kind of funny how people think it's a joke just to play around my feelings.
day 2 of break up:
to be honest with you, it was an okay day, but in the morning it was and shit and when school ended it was even more shittier. this morning I felt like I wanted to be alone, I was so scared if that someone asked me 'why did you and Jacob break up?' because I would literally about to cry. coming on the way to lunch was ok, I saw him a couple of times on the field playing football, while I was with my friend jasmine tying to sort out an argument they had with Fatima. coming onto home time, I was walking to the woods and saw...him, I told my friend (trinity) 'we are turning around I'm not ready to talk to him yet' she understood and we both left and tried a different route, we were trying to find the others and came across him ( we were in front of him and his friend ) so we just carried on walking and we finally caught up to our other friends, so we carried on walking and saw him AGAIN! i didn't really mind since I was with my friends but Chloe had to run up to him and talk to him, that pissed me off a little bit, but when they finished talking and left, I carried on walking by myself listening to some songs and over thinking, again, and now, I'm sitting here writing a shitty note that's not even that important