Notes

It was supposed to be the happiest day of my life or so my parents said. They were gleaming with joy when I went to see them last night. It was my last night as a bachelor and my father had requested an audience with me. My mother joined the meeting. They gave me tips on how to be a good husband. ‘A better husband’, my mum kept saying. I was the first son and child of the family so I felt I was obliged to make them happy even if deep down, I didn’t want any of this. I wasn’t ready for this. To live all of my life in pretense.

On my way out, my sister, the black sheep of the family, stopped me before I could drive out. She sat in the passenger seat beside me, held my hand, and asked ‘Are you happy, Teju?’. But it was too late now, I couldn’t back out. Everything was planned. My mother had taken it upon herself to invite our friends and families from Nigeria and all over the world, paid their hotel bills, picked out really expensive clothes, and just go all out. It was her first child’s wedding anyway so all of that was expected. So I confirmed that I was but she was no fool, she knew my heart was not in it and as is her usual way, she called me out on that bullshit.

‘Remember when you performed on stage the first time? Your eyes shone, you could barely conceal your joy. You couldn’t stop smiling all night and you said to me, “Babe, I feel true happiness” and I have seen this happen for every goal you achieve but you’re not saying it this time. So no, I’m not buying your Yes.’

She was right. I wasn't happy with this. Not with the marriage. Not with her. I did not love her. I did not want her. I do not want women and my mother knew this but I had to go through with this or I risk being disowned by my own family and I’m not strong enough for that. It would break me.

“I do not have a choice. Papa and Mama already went all out on the wedding and it's tomorrow, it’s a little too late.”, I replied.

“It’s never too late, man. You deserve true happiness. You’ve always wanted it and you get it every single time you set your heart to getting it so go after it this time, again. For you. For me. For life. For Him.”

She knew what the condition and she was the only person that took time to understand me. That made us closer. She knew my exes, all of them. She scrutinized anyone that made advances to me. I loved her for this. And her scrutiny helped a whole lot. She was very particular about this ONE man, Michael. And yeah, he was great. We met at a karaoke bar. It was a night out with my sister, her boyfriend, and a friend of ours. She called my attention to someone staring at me but I didn’t think it about it much. He was handsome but I wasn’t at the bar to pick men up so I kinda ignored him. Smiled back and went back to listening to the performer on stage.

It was my turn to sing and as usual, I gave an astounding performance. Everyone clapped, some whistled *HAHAHAHA* and yeah, it was great. He approached us as we stepped out of the bar and he said he’d like to speak to me.

“Yes please, take him”. My silly sister responded.

He saw me pinch her and he smiled. They excused us and left us to talk.

“Great performance. I really loved it.”, he started off.

“Thank you. I didn’t even give y’all the stuff I really planned to but this worked fine”.

He laughed. “Cocky, I likey”. I laughed.

He talked about how he works for a media company and they have hangouts with stars and artistes and all and how he’d like me to come around and give them a taste of my awesomeness and maybe we could get drinks tomorrow night.

I couldn’t say no. He was really charming and smooth.

We hung out a lot of times after that and he was really good. He was surprised that my sister knew about all of this but it made him more comfortable around us and family. He’d always come around to my house, gist with my sister, even go on cruises with my sister. They planned a surprise birthday for me last year and it was great. Thanked him in the bedroom that night and my sister did not stop talking about the sounds that came from my room all night. I should add that sex with him was awesome as well.

Our friendship went on for about two years but we had to end things because I was seeing a lady who was to be my wife and he didn’t want to get in the way that. We didn’t like that we had to end it but we did.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise as the bride makes her way down the aisle”. The pastor began.

She looked breathtaking, dazzling in the white gown dress that evoked her shape. Her smile was mesmerizing and she had the whitest teeth (Trying a novel shit approach). She walked graciously towards the altar with her father and finally, she was standing by me. Face to face, she smiled at me and I smiled back. The church went quiet and it was time to say our vows. I noticed a movement from the front and when I turned my head, it was my sister going out of the church. She probably had to get a friend, I thought.

The pastor started; “We are gathered here in this church to join Teju Brown and Anita Baker in holy matrimony. If you would please repeat after me:

I, say your name;

“I, Teju Brown”

Take you, her name*

“Take you, Anita Baker”

To be my wife, the priest continued.

There was movement again, it was my sister. She was waving at me this time, smiling. I caught a glimpse of her and I turned my head to see what was going on. She pointed towards the door and I saw him, standing in a draped blue suit, sharp-looking and well fitted. He looked magical. He had grown his beards back and it was smooth and shiny. His manful, gritty stubble, his cosmic smile. Oh, how I’ve missed him. I smiled back. He shook his head, gesturing to me to not go ahead with this but I had to.

We stared at each other for a while. I could already see my mother looking at me and at him, back and forth, trying to figure out what was going on, what was stopping the wedding.

“Would you like to start again,” the priest asked?

"Are you okay? Who is that man?", my bride asked.

"He's just a friend", I replied. Please let's start again. I said to the priest.

"Okay, repeat after me",

I, say your name;

“I, Teju Brown”, I responded gently. I could see my sister saying no, she kept shaking her head.

"Please don't this", he called out.

My mother flew up from her seat, "Please take this young man out. Somebody please!!". And a bunch of men came and tried to carry him out. He was built so it wasn't easy but I didn't like how were dragging with him. I got really mad and I yelled "Stop".

I heard my sister yelp as I got down from the altar and walked towards him. My mother blocked me and asked me to go back to the altar and complete reciting my vows. She was pleading. "Please don't disgrace me, Teju. Please. I would not have this. You would not do this to me".

I couldn't help the tears that washed down my face as I told her,

"I'm sorry mum. I can't do this. I don't love her. I love him. He's the one I want to be with."

I didn't want to give her the chance to stop me so I got out of her grip, ran towards Mike, held his hand as we ran out of the church together".