Notes

It was a rainy Saturday night and Daphne was outside, walking. On the crosswalk, something weird and big was blocking her way.
“Are you an alien robot?” Daphne asked nervously.
“Yes,” the thing replied. “Are we gonna have a problem?”
Daphne wasn’t sure. Her hands started to sweat.
“Maybe,” she said. “I wanted donuts.”
That’s true. She really did.
“I’m allergic to donuts!” The robot screamed. It’s eyes were glowing.
“Wow, you have five eyes!” Daphne was shocked. “Does that mean you can eat five donuts at the same time?”
“What is wrong with you? I can eat nine!” The robot was growing in size.
“But you are allergic!” Daphne sneezed.
“You are a liar!” The robot jumped up and down. “I’m not allergic, I’m just a wizard.”
That wasn’t true. The alien robot was a carpenter. And he was absolutely allergic to donuts.
Daphne was scared but she had to fight if she didn’t want to starve.
“I’m going to fight you,” she announced. “Get ready to taste my wrath!”
And then she punched the robot with her left fist. The robot fell down.
“Oh no! A human has defeated me! My planet will abandon me forever.” He whispered. A strange liquid started leaking out of its ears.
“My pants have two holes.” Daphne started unbuttoning her pants. “You can live in one of them. I only need one.” She took of her pants and she tossed her fake leg into the street. A car ran it over.
The alien robot made a purring noise. It started changing forms.
The alien robot was now shaped like a fake leg.
“Are you a pirate?” the robot asked. “My name is Jim.”
“No Jim, I’m not a pirate.” Daphne replied. She grabbed Jim and attached it to her hip. “I’m just an average girl living an average life.”
Daphne worked from nine to five, all she wanted was to be left alone in her average home. But why did she always feel like she was in the Twilight zone?
“Are you quoting a Rockwell song?” Jim giggled. “Rockwell is an olympic fluffer.”
“What is a fluffer?”
“How old are you?
“I’m ten years old.”
Daphne was actually 90 years old. She was lying.
“I will suck your blood.” Jim said.
“I don’t have blood.” Daphne grinned. “I have snake keratin.”
Jim fainted. Daphne realized she didn’t take her wallet with her. She couldn’t buy donuts. She starved to death.
Jim took over her body.
Jim is now the president of the United States Of Africa.