Notes

So i have this friend, her name is Rose. She is the first person i have met to be remotely like me in every single way. We both share interests and sure we have our arguments, but we are both best friends. Until this year, I guess. She has made a new friend, called Elle who she hangs out with all the time. And as much as a try not to be jealous it really does get to me. I recently came out to myself as bisexual, and I'm starting to think I may be developing feelings. I don't want to, i wish i could just have a stress free life, but that would never happen, at least not to me. I'm probably one of the most fortunate people on the planet. I have everything I ever need and more, don't have any illnesses yet I am eternally ungrateful, I just wish I could grow up and see the world before it burns. I have such internalized homophobia. I literally feel awful about my sexuality and I know deep inside that I'm actually lesbian, I hate the word. God would never forgive me. Help me, someone.