Notes

This is the second note I’ve written on this site. A continuation of my previous letter, sent in 2017. The conversations did not end.

It’s now the last days of 2020. I am struggling to balance my life between study, work and relaxation. Be tough as it may, life has been really kind to me, to the point that I almost forgot how to rant.

I read the dnem note, and I thought, “you would never think of this, wouldn’t you?”. A lot of things happended, but to put in bluntly, you were strong.

I am no longer in depression, or bipolar. Wow. It feels bizarre saying that. It’s only a few months since I realized this, and I gotta admit, life is good. I don’t know if I’m more satisfied with this harmonious life than the wretched life I used to live. The answers must be left to the me of few years later.

About the receiver of this letter, I dedicated it to the me of 2017, instead of the previous one. My guest is that he’s living with his family right now, hopefully happily, so let’s not bother him for a while. Why do I know that? He disappeared for a long time, and reappeared right when I was about to kill myself in 2019 (sorry about that). We talked a few times. Never thought of that, right? Again, it’s bizarre. I was being delusional for a while, thanks to those interactions. And I hope we can get further with this almost-non-existed relationship. I hope to be his friend.

I honestly don’t have much to say. Like I said, this life I’m living has so much more than your life back then, but the way I perceive all of them has changed, so I appreciate things more than regarding them as bad luck. I really wish you could know this sooner.

You and me, we are ice cold. Thank you so much for bearing everything. I will comeback again, probably not me, but hopefully a better version of us.

To Nochang, who is now Just Nochang. I hope you live happily. I wish you all the best things on this world.

This letter was written in Winter, while the previous was written in Summer. Let’s write 사계절 letters.