Notes

I am not sure how everyone sees me, but if you were to ask my friends, they will tell you I can be too delicate to be left alone. They will also tell you perhaps that I'm very determined. I guess it comes from being sensitive. You have to be that to be able to survive in a world such as ours.

This is my first war game and one thing it has taught me is how to be calmer & stronger despite all the seemingly never-ending challenges that came our way.

I admit my default when something bad happens is to remain silent. I'm either too distressed/disappointed/upset to talk, but I still tried to do enough to keep the alliance going whenever it happens. I also remain silent because I don't like acting rashly. This may have caused a number of misunderstandings, so I apologize. It's also not good because of how fast-paced things are in game. Something is always happening and the game doesn't wait for anyone.

I've been trying very hard for us even when sometimes I just wanted to give up. During the months I don't talk to anyone outside the game much, I devoted most of my time on ASP/APX. I see and treat this alliance like my family. Yes, I almost never sleep before just to make sure everything is alright. This was just a way to get my mind off things at first, but i didn't know a game can cause this much... heartache?

During the course of this state, many people already came and go for various reasons. Some are only just inactive because they've become too busy, but some already truly left us. I remember jokingly calling X my father before I called Dad dad. I relied too much on Kev and trusted his opinion most that when he decided to really leave, I didn't just get upset over it. Although it's irrational, I couldn't forgive him for leaving for a while, but I have gotten over it already. Yaz (Mr. Wick) was someone I was closest to once. Although there came a time when it got too much, I admit I miss our childish banters. Although not everyone will understand, him leaving also hurt in a way. Demoting him has also been hard for me. Moon is someone I miss a lot. He was one of those who treated me really well from the early days. He says he will come back. I hope he comes back. Someone very important who I was so afraid of disapponting is also now leaving soon. It took my finally sleeping to finally let the fact set in. The list goes on and unfortunately for me, I remember everyone; however, this one will hurt the most. Haha.

I'd like to thank everyone for the support and appreciation you've shown. I'm extremely grateful for those who have been very vocal about it. Sometimes hearing about it is enough to keep one going, though everyone's presence is enough as encouragement. Every little thing everyone does is not left unnoticed. You all keep this alliance going.

I would like to inform everyone that we will be having a radical change that will serve to invigorate our family. I am asking everyone to trust me and leadership while we work on the details. Please be patient a while more. Together, we can withstand everything that comes our way.