Notes

Seven Secrets Behind Interpersonal Conflicts at Work
"Conflicting views are simply natural, but Conflicts occur whenever we elect to express our conflicting views emotionally." - Jensen Siaw
How more often than not have you encountered difficult colleagues whom you just couldn't see eye to eye with? How often perhaps you have gotten into unhappy disagreements with peers, subordinates or perhaps your bosses? How often maybe you have left a job as a consequence of interpersonal conflicts and office politics that left you fed up?
If you are a human resource manager, a department head, a team leader or perhaps any leadership position in your organisation; then you should have spent or are nevertheless spending an important area of your time and effort resolving people issues as part of your team. Interpersonal conflicts and office politics should have resulted in employee dissatisfaction and minimize productivity at work.
Wouldn't it's great if interpersonal conflicts and the ones issues are reduced on the minimum, every team member works happily and supportively, as there are greater work satisfaction and enhanced productivity? Is that possible? YES! CERTAINLY! But how?
Let's first check out what may cause interpersonal conflicts at the office. Below are seven secrets behind interpersonal conflicts and office politics:
1. Differing Beliefs & Values
Who we are today is shaped by our past experiences that shaped our beliefs and values. With everyone becoming an adult under different environments and experiences, it is common which our beliefs and values differ from the other person. Yet because beliefs and values are that which you hold dearly to within our hearts, it gets very disturbing when our colleagues' speech and behaviours aren't in accordance with our beliefs. Thus conflicts occur.
2. Differing Expectations & Blueprint
Because we have different beliefs and values, we also expect circumstances to be achieved differently. In our minds, we've "blueprints" of how various things needs to be handled and managed. Should we perceive which a colleague speaks and behaves in the manner not congruent with this "blueprints", we begin to place judgments on him. When we judge and stereotype a person, it's just really easy to locate fault with him, don't you think?
3. Differing Objectives & Interests
Almost so many people are in a very project for the core reason of earning money. However, we get to the same job with various objectives and interests. Some people wish to carve out work thereby go that step further, while some would like to earn an income and only do what exactly is required.
Some people target the collective interests of these team, but others wait very strongly to their personal interests.
4. Differing Needs & Priorities
People arrive at the same organisation with various needs. Some of us would like to fulfill our requirement of significance thereby proactively get in the good books of bosses and move forward in projects; others wish to fulfill their requirement of security so just diligently work with what they have to provide and remain low profile.
Some staff may place family as main priority, on the other hand managers value career more to the point and frown upon them leaving work with time or spending time off for children.
5. Differing "Mode of Operation"
According to Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), people receive and process information and events differently in their brains thereby "operate" differently. Some of us communicate visually and say "I we do hope you is able to see my point", while others communicate kinesthetically and solicit feedback by saying "Do you have a a sense what I am trying to say?"
This is quite like two individuals of personalities or speaking two different languages. When that occurs, miscommunication comes about and conflicts can occur.
6. Psychological Transference
As humans, we unconsciously project our judgments on others. In our childhood and teenage life, we should have placed judgments and still have unresolved negative emotions towards some figures inside our lives. When Workplace conflict resolution become adults, we feature all these along with us to our relationships and workplace.
Therefore, whenever a colleague says something or behaves in a way that reminds us of the man or woman whom we've got judged or feel negatively towards, we project the judgment onto this colleague and feel the same negative emotion. When emotions come up, conflicting views become interpersonal conflicts.
7. Lack of Emotional Intelligence and Emotions Mastery
Because emotions play a huge role in fuelling interpersonal conflicts, somebody who lacks emotional intelligence and do not discover how to manage his emotions could enter into conflicts with colleagues easily. Driven by negative emotions, differing views could escalate into open arguments, hidden sabotages and destructive office politics.
Reconising the need for emotional intelligence, multinational corporations have been purchasing emotional intelligence training and coaching for his or her staff. They usually vanish with a more in depth understanding about emotional intelligence, but not really managing their negative emotions.
Having identified the seven secrets behind interpersonal conflicts, let's discuss briefly about the "HOW" - what can be practiced to eliminate interpersonal conflicts with a transformational and deeper level:
1. Empower Minds
Help staff to find out more about themselves so they realize why they think, feel, say and behave how they do today. With this understanding, you will see more empathy amongst colleagues and everyone is encouraged to look at personal responsibility for his very own thoughts, feelings, speech, behaviours, performance and results.
2. Empower Hearts
With staff taking personal responsibility for own emotions, empower these with emotions mastery methodologies and techniques to deal with their negative emotions while they arise. The key this is to handle and resolve the emotions, not suppress or pretend they just don't exist. The latter will lead to destructive team dynamics and undesirable team performance.
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