Notes

He wakes up every day at 5 AM and just to
practice singing inside SM Building. SM
Entertainment, the biggest and the most
successful entertainment of all entertainments in
Korea. He auditioned for it 2 years ago and SM
accepted him as a trainee. He was so happy,
until he knew that he has to practice more than
10 hours per day. But remembering that this is
what he wants, he always wait patiently until the
day he can shine like his sunbaes.
He stops in front of his old school just to wait for
his childhood friend. Not only a childhood friend,
more than that. But not a girlfriend yet. He looks
at his watch.
“10 more minutes” he says to his self. After 10
minutes, the bell rang. He lift his head just to see
whether his friend has come out yet. There she
is. A not so tall girl with long brown haired, walk
towards him.
“Oppa!” she exclaimed. His smile grew wider
when he saw her walking towards him. She
stopped in front of him and smiles. “Oppa, been
waiting long?” she asked him and he shook his
head.
“No, not at all. Let’s go?” he grabs her hand and
hold it tightly.
No, they are not even in a relationship. None of
them are ready to tell how they really feel.
Especially him. He’s afraid he’ll hurt her. They
stopped in a park, where they used to play when
they were still 7. He told her to sit on a bench.
He quickly take a paper from his bag and she
smiles.
“Another song for me?” she asked and he nodded
happily. He starts to sing the song. The song he
made by himself. She closed her eyes and
enjoying his voice. Never she said she hates his
songs. She likes it. Every single song that he
made for her. Although all of his songs are about
her, about love, she never consider it as his true
feelings for her. ‘It’s just a song’ she said.
“Oppa! It’s already 3 PM! Your break time is
over! Ppali go back to the company!” she said
while he was singing for her. He stopped and his
eyes got wider.
“What?” he quickly check on his watch and it’s
true, it’s already 3 PM. He quickly turns around
but stop after all, he looks back at her and wave.
She waves back. He smiles happily and leave
her.
Always like this. She never really tell him how
she feels about all his songs. She always says
“I’m happy” “Thank you” “I love the song” always,
always, and always the same words. But he
never ask her how she really feels towards those
songs. He knows why. Why she closes her heart
towards everyone’s love. Her parents abandoned
her when she was 8. They never really consider
her as their daughter. She has 2 sisters. Both of
them are really perfect. Good grades, have lots
of friends, handsome boyfriend, everything. Her
parents always gave them what they want. But
not for her. There was a time when she asked
her parents to come to her school to watch her
playing a drama as the main role. But no, her
parents never came to watch her. And when her
sisters play a drama but not as the main role,
they always there. Watched them and supported
them no matter what they did. Whether is it bad
things or good things. As long as they are happy,
her parents are happy.
‘She is beautiful’ he said inside his mind. Never
in his life he doesn’t like her. Never in his life he
wants to leave her alone. He wants to protect
her from every bad thing that might happen. He
loves her. He loves her more than he loves
himself.
“Oppa, I want to be an astronaut” she said when
she was 9. He said go for it because there aren’t
many female astronaut out there. He made a
song about her who wanted to be an astronaut
and sang the song for her the next day.
“Oppa, now I want to be a fashion designer” she
said when she was 11. He said go for it since it’s
a good job for girls. He made a song about her
who wanted to be a fashion designer and sang
the song for her the next day. The song,
resemble as his support for her.
“Oppa, what do you want to be?” she asked. He
always said he wants to be a singer. “Then go
for it oppa!” she said. Those words, those simple
words saying ‘go for it’ is like a magic for him.
He goes for it. He fought for it. She might
change her dream, but he will always support her
no matter what. But his dream to become a
singer, with the word ‘go for it’ that came out
from her, he will fight for it no matter what.
He made a song. A song called ‘A Support’. The
song tells about his feelings when she supported
him to become a singer. He sang it in front of
her. She said she likes it so bad. Although the
word he wants to hear is “I’ll always support you,
Oppa. Go for it”. Yes, that word. Go for it. He
wants to hear that word once again, but she
never said it again.
He is standing in front of a big mirror in SM’s
practice room. He is holding a microphone.
“Ok, kyungsoo. I’ll play the music, please sing it
correctly. I’ll record it, ok?” said the trainer to
him. He nodded. The trainer plays the song. It’s
‘The Name I Love” by SHINee. All he could think
about is her. He starts singing that song. He
pours all of his feelings to the song. After the
song is finish, he quickly run towards the trainer.
“Can I have the records?” he asked.
“For what?” asked the trainer to him.
“I want to give it to my friend” he replied and the
trainer give him the record. He quickly send the
song to her. He can’t wait for her reaction. His
heart beats faster because inside the message,
he writes “I was thinking about you when I sang
this song”
Rururu~
His phone rang. He quickly checked the message
from her.
“Your voice is so cool”
He scrolls down again but nothing is there
except ‘your voice is so cool’. He sighed. Why
only that? He asked to himself. He said he was
thinking about her, but she didn’t give him any
response. He closed his phone and threw it to
his bag.
“Kyungsoo, come here” said the trainer.
“Yes, hyung?” he walks towards his trainer.
“This is your opportunity, kyungsoo. The boss
wants you to debut with other 11 people. You’ll
be in the same team as jongin” said the trainer.
Jongin, his best friend. It feels like the best day
of his life. His eyes got wider and also his smile.
“Hyung? Are you serious?” he asked once again.
His trainer nodded and he screams in happiness.
He grabs his phone and dial her number.
“Hello?”
“Hello? Hello? Minah, listen! I’m going to debut
soon!” he tells her about the good news.
“Oh my, really? Oppa, chukae!” she said. “Now
you can shine like the other idols out there” she
continues. He nodded with a big smile on his
face.
“Thanks for always being there for me. I love
you…” he said. His heart beats ten times faster
than before. He is waiting for her answer.
“You’re welcome. Look oppa, I need to wash the
dishes. So, see you around?” she replied. He
froze.
‘Didn’t I tell you that I love you?’ he asked
himself.
“Oppa?” she asked again.
“Oh, yeah sure. I’m going to.. Practice singing
again. See you around” he push the end button.
He felt like he wants to cry. But he holds it.
His first teaser has come out. He runs towards
her school and wait outside. He arrives just in
time. The bell rang. He saw her walking towards
the gate. He waves at her and she gives him a
bautiful smile.
“Minah, listen! My first prolog song is out today! I
have the video in my phone here, you want to
see it?” he smiles brightly.
“Really? I want to see it! Come on! Come on!”
she pulls him towards a bench near them. They
sit down and he plays the video. She smiles
everytime she saw him in the video.
“OMG oppa it’s you!” she said and he giggled.
After the video is finish, he asked her about her
comment.
“The video is so cool! Especially the one who
looks a lot like you!” she said.
“Oh, junmyun hyung? Yeah, but I’m more
handsome right?” he asked her and she giggled.
“Ah! I’ll sing the song for you!” he said. He
stands up and starts to sing ‘What Is Love’ in
front of her. She enjoys it so much. After he
finished, she claps her hand. “How’s my voice?”
he asked.
“So cool!” she replied.
“And.. What do you think about me?” he asked
more serious. She blinks innocently, like she
doesn’t understand what he said.
“You’re cool” she finally gave him answer while
giving him thumbs up. “Just like a professional
singer!” she said. He gulped down.
“I mean, what do you think about me? Your
feelings towards me” he asked seriously. She is
just looking at him. He bit his lips. “Minah, you
know I lo-“
“Oppa, I have so many homeworks for tomorrow!
So, see you tomorrow!” she stood up and wave at
him. “Bye!” she said. He was lost for words. He
just gave her a slight smile. He stood there for
about 3 minutes before walking away towards
the company.
Second prolog is out, but he couldn’t reach her.
He can’t call her, nor see her. Everytime he
waits her in front of her school, he never saw her
again. And finally, MAMA MV is out. His debut
song. He tries to call her again.
“Hello?” she answered.
“M-Minah?” he said, disbelief that she picked up
the call.
“Ne oppa! How are you?” she asked him.
“I’m.. I’m fine. What about you?” he asked back.
“I’m uh.. So busy nowadays. I’ve seen your
performances in so many music programs, oppa!”
she said. “You’re so cool!” she continues. That
again. So cool.
“I’m only just ‘cool’ huh?” he asked. It was an
awkward silence for 10 seconds. “Umm, my
manager calls me, I need to go. See you around,
Minah” he said.
“Ne ne.. Bye oppa!” she ends the call. He bit his
lips and gulped down. He close his phone and
sighed.
“D.O!” calls his manager. Yes, D.O, his stage
name. “Listen, next week you’ll have your first
SM Town in LA” his manager said. He widened
his eyes after he heard LA.
“LA?”
“Yeah, work hard ok?” said his manager to him.
He nodded happily.
The day he needs to fly to LA, he calls her. But
no answer. He texted her, ‘Minah, I’m going to
LA today. I called you but you didn’t answer my
call. What do you want? I’m thinking of going to
Disneyland with the members, you want
something? –kyungsoo-‘
He waits patiently. He waits. But still, he got no
answer. He sighs.
“D.O, ppali!” said the manager to him. He
nodded.
It’s been 2 months he couldn’t reach her. She
didn’t answer his phone call. She didn’t reply his
text. Everytime he waits her in front of her
school’s gate, he didn’t saw her walking out from
the school.
“Hyung, you didn’t go to that school anymore?”
asked Sehun, the youngest member from EXO.
He shook his head slowly. “But I saw the girl
who used to be with you a few days ago, I forgot
to tell you!”
He turns his head quickly to face Sehun. “WHAT!
WHERE?” he almost yelled at their youngest
member.
“Easy, hyung. I saw her outside this building. She
was just looking at our poster outside the
building. I was going to ask her should I call you
or not but she quickly left the building” Sehun
explained. His face turns sad. His eyebrow
furrowed and he sighed.
“Hyung” said Sehun to him. He lift his head. “You
love her?”
He gives Sehun a slight smile. “With all my heart”
he replied.
One day, EXO will be having a showcase in
Thailand. He was going to give it a try again. He
dials her number.
“Hello?”
“…” he froze. ‘After 2 months, finally’ he said to
his self.
“Oppa?” asked her. He gasped.
“Minah, you..” he stopped.
“Yes, oppa? If you want to ask me about my
condition, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” She
said. He bit his lips.
“Are you avoiding me, Minah?” he asked
straightly. She didn’t answer his question. “What
did I do wrong?” he asked again.
“Oppa, can you sing me a song?” she asked.
“Angel. I want to hear it” she said. He nodded
and get ready to sing. He sings her ‘Angel’. A
song about loving someone, and the feelings that
go with it. After he finished singing, he asked
her,
“Minah, how’s my voice?” he asked again, like he
always ask her about his voice, wanting a
different answer. He doesn’t want her to answer
‘cool’ but anything else.
“Oppa, your voice is the best” she replied. His
smile grew wider and he giggled. “You’re going
to Thailand right? Oppa, you should take care. I
heard that it rains a lot in Thailand. Wear
something warm okay?” she said. He nodded
happily.
“Ne, Minah. You too. But, can we see each other
again? Why did I never get the chance to see
you again?” he asked curiously.
“After you go back from Thailand, let’s meet
okay?” she asked and his eyes got wider and
wider, so does his eyes.
“Ne! Ne Minah! So, I’ll call you later, okay?”
But again, no. He couldn’t see her. It’s not
because she didn’t answer his calls, he’s too
busy with his job. But during his busy schedule,
there was 1 time he wrote a song for her. He
was planning to sing it for her. The song is about
his feelings, about how much he loves her but he
thinks she never love him back. About she’s his
all in one, his life, his love, she’s his everything.
“EXO, gather around” said their manager. All of
them gathered around their manager. “You guys
know 3 days again we’ll be making SMTOWN in
Seoul, right? This show has to be spectacular.
So, Chen, you’ll be singing with Ryeowook and
Eunhyuk again, right? Work hard okay. Sehun,
Luhan, Chanyeol, and D.O, DJ Got Us Falling In
Love Again with TTS? Don’t forget about your
past pose” said the manager. They nodded. He
quickly grabs his phone to call her. “Wait guys,
there are so many letters from fans but you guys
got letters from your family too!” said their
manager. They screamed cheerfully. Their
manager calls their name one by one.
“D.O!” calls the manager. He walks towards his
manager and take his letters. One from his
parents and one from,
‘From: Minah
To: Kyungsoo oppa’
His eyes widened and he quickly opens the
letter.
‘Oppa, how are you? I didn’t get the chance to
ask your condition. How was your days in
Thailand? Fun? I hope you enjoyed your days
that time. I know you’re so busy until you can’t
call me. There’s something I want to tell you.
Oppa, I’m not fine. I hate myself for not telling
you the truth. I ails tumor. It seems like I’m
joking right? But no, I’m serious. I’m not joking.
Oh how I wish I can hear you singing again. I’ve
been avoiding you not because I hate you. I love
you. I love you so much oppa. I don’t want you
to know this. I know you love me. I was so
happy when you said you love me. But I’m afraid
in the end I’ll leave you alone and you can’t
continue your dream. Oppa, congratulations. You
can be a singer now. Keep up the good work. I
don’t want you to throw away your dreams just
because of me. D.O hwaiting! Saranghae <3’
He widened his eyes and quickly open the letter
from his parents.
‘Kyungsoo, I don’t know how you can take this
but. Minah’s parents called us yesterday and
said that their last daughter died because of
tumor. She never told her parents that she felt
painful all this time. Kyungsoo, you still
remember Minah right? Let’s hope for the best
for her parents and her sisters. Fighting, son. We
love you’
He froze. ‘I ails tumor’ is that even serious? Is
she making fun of him, and saying she ails
tumor? ‘Their last daughter died because of
tumor’ Who’s their last daughter? He crumpled
the paper and everybody is looking at him. He
throws the paper away. Kai walks towards him.
“D.O, what happened?” he asked anxiously. He
saw the paper and takes it. He opens the paper
and read it. His eyes got wider. He turns his face
to D.O, who is holding his self from crying.
Everybody gathered around Kai to read the letter.
Kai quickly passed the paper to Suho and
hugged D.O tightly. D.O doesn’t react. He keeps
standing straight, looking forward to nowhere
and his eyes are teary. Everybody gathered
around D.O and calm him down.
He feels like he is deaf. He can’t hear any word.
He can see everybody is saying something to
him with their pity face. He blinked several times
and a tear falls down from his eyes. Lay give him
a tissue. Still, he doesn’t move. Kai hug him even
tighter.
“D.O-ah, we’re here. Don’t cry” Kai said to him.
He looks down, avoiding s’ eye contact. He
closed his eyes and starts crying. He sobs and
almost yelled. Kai didn’t break the hug. He
cannot stop crying. His all in one, his life, finally
saying she loves him too. But she’s gone.
The day before SMTOWN, he walks towards the
practice room. He saw Chen, Ryeowook, and
Eunhyuk is practicing a song. He opens the door
and Chen quickly run towards him.
“D.O, what are you doing here?” Chen asked him
and he shook his head.
“Can i.. Sing a song for SMTOWN?” he asked to
Chen. Chen blinked innocently and Ryeowook
walks towards them.
“D.O, you want to sing a song? I’ll sing the song
with you” Ryeowook said to him. He lift his head
to face Ryeowook. “Let’s beg manager to give
you the chance”
They finally get the chance. HE finally got the
chance. They picked ‘Missing You’ from Fly To
The Sky. It’s actually his decision. Ryeowook is
just following him. They practice the song till
midnight. Ryeowook can see his feelings.
Ryeowook worried about him. Can he sing this
song tomorrow?
Finally, the day. And after this is Ryeowook &
D.O’s performance. He took a deep breath and
Ryeowook hit his back slowly.
“You ready?” Ryeowook asked him and he
nodded slowly. “Give your best shot, okay?”
“Ryeowook, D.O out now!” said the manager and
they walk outside. The fans are screaming their
name really loud. Suddenly Ryeowook give a sign
to the fans to calm down their voice.
“D.O wants to say something” said Ryeowook.
He turns his head to Ryeowook and Ryeowook
nods.
“I.. I’m EXO’s D.O. I just want to say, this should
be Chen’s special stage with Ryeowook hyung
and Eunhyuk hyung. But, something happened
and I just want to sing this song for this one girl,
whom I consider as my only one” he said and
the fans scream so loud. “She’s my life. My
inspiration. She died a few days ago” he
explained and he gasped, about to cry. The fans
suddenly froze, no one makes sound. “So, I
represent this song for her. I made a song for
her, but I don’t think that song fits this condition,
so I changed the song. This is my last song for
her” he said and the music starts.
“Ijen guttega anirago hedo
animyon nal kamahge ijossodo
non danji nege jinan saramirado
tonight is just one night
norul ilhgi jonchorom
Nal dashi gadgo shiphun ne maumun
we gurohge miryonsuroun gonji
niga obnun nal injonghal suga obnun
tonight is just one night
norul ilhgi jonchorom
Hanbonman ne mamul durojwo
every day every night I am missing you
ne gyothe obsodo ijen bol su obsodo
onjena ne mamen togathun noingol
Nal dashi gadgo shiphun ne maumun
we gurohge miryonsuroun gonji
niga obnun nal shilgam hal suga obnun
tonight is just one night
norul ilhgi jonchorom “
D.O takes a deep breath before his line. He
suddenly thinks about her. Her face passes his
mind. He closed his eyes and trying so hard not
to cry.
“Hanboman ne mamul durojwo..” he starts. “Every
day, every night, I am missing you” a tear falls
down from his eyes. “Ne gyothe obsodo ijen bol
su obsodo” tears keep falling from his eyes. But
he tries his best to finish the song. The fans feel
touched. Some of them cry too.
“Negen nomanun tokathun noingol” he finished
the song perfectly with tears still falling from his
eyes. Fans are screaming his name. He sobs,
everybody can feel his pain.
“Minah…” he said in the middle of sobbing. “Like
the song, Even if you’re not by my side” he sobs.
“Even if I can’t see you now. I’ll always love you.
Because I’m loving you and missing you” he
hides his face in his right palm, cannot hold his
tears. Ryeowook walks towards him and calm
him down.
‘ Minah, I can’t actually realize that I don’t have you
now. Tonight is just one night, just like before I
lost you. To me, you’re always the same. This is
my last song. Thanks for loving me. I love you,
more than I do.’