Notes

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” ~ C.S Lewis In November of 2014, I was checked into Crescent Pines Hospital. A psychiatric hospital for mentally unstable. I won’t go into details of why I was there because it makes me uncomfortable but just focus on an important moment of that time. The older kids are not allowed to look at the younger children wrong let alone talk to them. ^ transition My head was screaming. Almost as loud as the little girl who was beside me. She was kneeling on the floor crying for her mother as though it was the most important thing in the world, the only thing that mattered to her. Looking at her fallen on the ground telling her mother not to leave, to stay, she looked so sad so alone. It broke my heart. I wanted to cry, to help, to do something. I knew I could help, but I wasn’t allowed. ^ emphasize the feeling of her sobbing I knew that, but I couldn’t stop myself, I went and knelt down in front of the girl and began to talk to her. A nurse sternly told me to get away from the girl. Honestly I didn’t care how many extra days and I was not going to stop talking to the girl. I really can’t handle people crying and I was going to get myself in a huge dilemma because of it, but a girl who was also in there with me, who’s name I can not say so I’ll call Lizzy, pulled me up and told me it’s not worth it. She was right. I started crying. I felt so helpless, the nurse was yelling at the little girl. ←- feels as if this was not needed but you could leave it in and tell why and how she was yelling at her The nurse told us to start heading back to the unit. I could still hear the girl screaming. The hallway would not end it was like everything was going in slow motion. The air began to feel stagnant. I couldn’t breathe. I plugged my ears, but I could still hear the girl screaming. I was about to snap. Then I heard Lizzy telling me “Stop, stop it, this is not worth the extra days. Calm down. You need to calm down.” To someone else that might sound mean, however she understood what I needed to hear. She knew whether it was the time for her give me the facts or the time to comfort me. She was supporting me as though we had known each other for years. Lizzy understood that I heard her and her words affected me, even if I didn’t show it. Those few moments felt like an eternity and I honestly believe if she had not been there things would have been very bad and I would not have been able to handle that situation. Lizzy and I had met for the first time that day, and yet we understood each other in a way that nobody else could. We saw both the dark sides and the bright sides and accepted them.