Notes

i guess i'm ready to reply sorry if it's choppy
i'm really close with some of the cheer kids (or ex-cheer kids) bc ibet and freshman year in general so i met sharon and others through like jday and back to school bash and football games too but we've never really talked or met except through someone else. something similar happened with sharon but i wasn't sure exactly what happened and to what extent until now? and we didn't talk afterwards, so i don't really know her. not exactly relevant but apparently my mom wants to visit the church she goes to next month bc she went there 20 years ago lol it's just a small world. but ahhhhh idk how to feel about this thing tho. tl;dr yes but no.
i don't think i'm that great or strong or anything i feel the opposite actually and i still feel fake a lot of the times too especially when i talk to god and stuff, or read the bible. i think recognition of that is a sign tho or at least that's what people keep telling me. tbh it's become one of those things that i brush off and i guess take for granted. it's not even that i'm experiencing the aftermath of a spiritual high because i don't think i was ever in that place this winter but it's more all around apathy.
that wasn't very eloquently worded but i hope you got the sentiment LOL
yeah i feel.. i think the conversations we had were real but given the circumstances it's just… weird… that's the best way i can describe it but i think you understand how surreal it feels. idk how I'm supposed to react and i don't wanna orchestrate any drama that's unnecessary especially when there are many more important things to be worrying about and we don't live in a kdrama lolol so i dunno i hope you're ok and i've enjoyed talking with you immensely these past few weeks about everything and still pray for you and ur pretty strong and amazing urself and yeah
they insisted they were done but it's like idk. i don't think I'm going to delete bc there aren't any other spaces where I'm active and otherwise yeah i'd forget some of "our" convos and i kinda enjoyed that safe space. i don't think i mind too much that you know some stuff it's just new for me i guess bc i don't really talk about that kinda stuff with people i know and it's generally not the type of things that i tell anybody just bc i don't think it's what's important but i dunno. and lol my taize entrees are embarrassing at times tho i was such a self-absorbed and dramatic kid hahaha
7th grade was such a long time ago and things have changed so much from then and it kinda got me thinking about how other people affect ur development as a person and how certain experiences and friendships change ya and i dunno
i guess hi