Notes

To be happy in life, you must overcome difficulties and anxieties, but that was hard for our main character Charlie to realize. Blaming yourself for almost your entire life and facing many mental issues, and not knowing much about yourself or your family was a big part of this book. By reading this book you will follow every part of Charlie's journey that he goes through, you will feel him and learn about him.

While reading this book I never understood why Charlie adored his aunt Helen that much. Why did Charlie care and miss her so greatly? Why did he always blame himself? Why did he prefer her to everyone else? Even more than his mother, isn't she the one who brought him into the world, which honestly I still haven't figured out although I've finished this book. But at least I know why he wrote about his aunt that much, and that was shocking for me. I understood that she sexually abused him and I felt sorry for him. I do understand that she was sexually abused as a child, but that shouldn't be an excuse for her to molese a 7 year old kid. Abusing someone that young or even abusing someone to take her sexual abuse out on someone, is insane. What upset me is the fact that she was abusing her own sister's kid, despite Charlie's mother welcoming her and opening her house for her at her most difficult moments, and as a result, she abused her sister's child.
What is that for a kind of human? Isn't she supposed to thank her? Was the reason she gifted Charlie 2 presents instead of one because she felt sorry for what she was doing? Or was she just doing that to obtain Charlie's attention and love, cause she knew a child at this age wouldn't understand what she was up to. But I do still hope she felt sorry for him even if just a little, because Charlie through his entire life has struggled without even knowing why. The sad part is that he has always missed her since she died, he blamed himself for her death, because he thought she was too loving towards him.

Even when he realized what Helen did towards him, he forgave her, despite the fact that she caused him many mental issues throughout his life. Charlie was always frightened of falling in love, he was afraid that if he did that person would fade away.

Something I don't understand is why he felt so sorry for his aunt Helen when he knew that his mother went through the same issues in her life. Why didn't he show the same amount of love towards his mother? Was it because she couldn't articulate herself well enough? And if that was the case, that shouldn't be a problem, because he already knew his mother had been abused by her father too.

Was it fair in that case to love and feel sorry for his aunt more than his mother? At least if he loved his mother he shouldn't forgive his aunt for what she did when he was young, he should've realized that the time she spent and the gifts she gave him were just a way of getting his attention and he should've realized how he wasn't caring about his mother, because, in the end, he supposed to know how much his mother loved him although she couldn't express herself, because either he knew how to do that.