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I know you wanted me to tell u to so u could barb wire your heart but i know in the past when I've considered this, it blew up in my face. & so i figured this is the way people want to deal with it now. I'm not going to play with your heart and i don't want to hurt you. I didn't want to tell you because I've already chosen you over them. I just needed to tell them which i was procrastinating on doing. . . that's why i wanted to stop in queens and i wanted to stop in the Bronx. i needed to end it asap. Bryan i really like hanging out with u. i knew i was done w/them from the day we went to Fridays. the same way u said u felt when i came out the cab, i didn't say it, i felt it too. I normally wouldn't have minded the girl giving u looks but last night i did. & i was standing right there. The girl in the gas station - i didn't even care. i am just scared to do everything - to kiss u and all. i am, scared. i already knew i liked u from dinner, so if i kissed u .. it could mean stuff... Stuff i didn't want , i wasn't ready for u know i like things slow . especially really things. If you kissed me, it could mean i'll have to fend u off like these other basic guys. I can count on 1 hand how many guys I've slept with. honestly. The first guy I've slept with, i'm still in contact with - he's my fuck buddy. i told him first . A girl , no matter what, will always be in contact with their first. I don't like that i have to always ask u to explain things to me. I know u just said u think i think i think you're joking sometimes but i know you're always serious. I just can't be as serious as u . so - i laugh. I have to.
I DON'T SPEAK SEDUCTIVELY.
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