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nit being understood was always my #1 problem as in my whole life weather it was how i acted or what i did or what i didn´t do how i reacted how the right things was wrong and the wrong things were right honestly i don´t think anybody ever really took the time out to genuinely understand me and that effected me worse than ever . i grew into taking my problems off towards anger and i guess you can say attitude then i´m happy again but that happiness only last for a certain amount of time like when i don´t like certain names or certain things done to or for me and people take those things as me being controlling or having a attitude or not being myself nut honestly its me falling into not being myself and not knowing how too react too certain things and honestly its not my fault .. but my brain and my heart collide and that takes a toll on me so its either build that wall back up or run too suicide and personally ill never chose that option well at least ever again i´ve came too terms knowing that my happiness may not ever last un´till i let things go i don´t want people too leave but then again its like leave i don´t even give a fuck bro even though people may not have ever fully walked away from me they walked away for a short amount of time and believe it or not that hurts more than ever i blame a´lot of people for the way i am now a´lot of people actually and i take my past and make jokes about it because i don think ill ever verbally explain anything too anybody on why i am how i am because im scared of that also being misunderstood and who wanna be told oh i dont understand or what you mean

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