Notes

Hey there. I um… I really don’t know where to start. But um… I guess I should start with this… You sit here and tell me that nobody wants you… But I don’t understand where your coming from by that. I don’t see where I became nobody. I mean… In my eyes i’m somebody. In my eyes i’m somebody important and my opinion matters. But I am pretty stupid. But I am definitely not nobody. So when you tell me nobody wants you… That hurts. Cause… I don’t see how you can say that when there’s someone fighting for you everday, right in front of you, because they care about you. So, if you can’t hear me when I tell you that you matter. Maybe now you will hear me. I am not no one so do NOT say nobody wants you. Because I want you and I fight for you everyday. I think about you everyday, I wonder how you’re doing. Because I- I can’t be there with you all the time! But that doesn’t mean I’m nobody! ‘Cause I care! And you know the person who says nobody cares about them I usually the person that has the most people caring about them. So… yeah. That’s the person that i’ve been fighting for. The person who says that nobody cares about them when someone does. And you know i’m cool with that. But there is a line that when you cross it, you know… that, that really hurts.

You told me… nobody wanted you. Ok we get that. But then you have the nerve to tell me there is no such thing as happiness or love. Right there. I know that is a lie. You tell me that happiness and love is a lie and that it’s all just fairytales and stories and it’s a lie like all of that! Right now you are lying to me when you say that. Because i know happiness. I know love! You know it too But you’re too blind to see it! Okay does it sound like i’m being really harsh right now? Yeah. That’s called tough love. Love! LOVE! Get it through your head it is real! And it is right in front of you! You know i smile everyday and if you really know me you might find that hypocritical. But I smile everyday because i find something to be happy about! Everyday! Even when It’s the worst day on Earth somebody makes me smile even if it has no relation to me. You know why? I recognise happiness. I understand it. I cherish it. I believe in it. But something’s happened along the way and you no longer see it’s possibility.

You say it’s a lie like fairytales. Fairytales are not lies. They’re, they’re supposed to inspire you. You know you look at this character, you see them going through this situation that seems… almost totally impossible. You know no human could ever get through that. But you see them perservere! You see them go through this… And you see them holding their heads high. Even when they fall they get back up! And then you see the end! Something… You know there’s good that comes out of what they just went through! They’re supposed to tell you that you should just keep going ‘cause there are good moments that happen. And no matter who you are you’re gonna have a good moment in your life!

So don’t close the book before you’ve even gotten to the climax. Don’t tell me there are no happy endings. Because you are not God you cannot read the end of your book. You can’t read the last page. You can’t. But if you do close that book… and if you do stop writing it… I will pick your book up, in hand with mine, and i will write yours and mine at the same time! And i will think about closing mine, about closing yours, about closing them both. Because it’s hard to write two books at once. But guess what? Life is hard! Writing your book of life is going to be difficult. And if I am sitting here willing to pick up your book of life and write it even after you’re done with it… Then by god! You have best better open your eyes. Only a blind person doesn’t see what’s in front of them. And if you can’t see that there is somebody so willing to do anything for you because they care about you and are happy and they want you to be happy and they love you! I just…

‘Cause heres the thing. There are happy endings. I’ve seen them. There is love because i’ve seen it, i’ve felt it and i’ve experienced it. And part of love, part of happiness is pain. Because if you experience pain when you’re happy you know you’re happy. When you’re in love you know you’re in love. You KNOW. Don’t tell me it’s a lie, don’t try to bring me down with you because i am not bringing- I am not bringing myself down and I am not going to let you bring yourself down either! I will pick you up and I will carry you so help me! Even after you’re dead! I will fight for you! I will fight for your memory because guess what? Everything you do is etched in time. You can’t get rid of it so ending your life, ending that book, is not worth it.

So don’t say you’re not wanted when somebody wants you. Because that’s what you’ll get.