Notes

FISHER

Well this one took around 3 hours to write and rewrite.

Let me start this by prefacing why I went for you: It was obvious to me that you were the best at making connections the moment I met you. That was your infectious positivity, and it was a good thing for you to have, but a big threat to me. The moment I saw 106 paynuses formed, I knew that I was destined to be on the bottom of it. The fact that you had hit it off with Mario quickly (and he was comfortable telling me) and the fact that our conversations were not as strong as the ones you had with him all but confirmed this. Obviously, when I ended up as a target in R04, I had no reason to join my own hate-club and flip to the BB trio. Of course, being an early target (and being targeted in the 4th round as I had been in 3 or so ORGs in my past), I was kind of concerned, but there was no room for me to direct the vote, so I had to sit back. My wording on wanting Ceekay out was obviously misinterpreted, and for that, I apologize. What I *wanted* to say was that her going was best for my game, because she was the one who talked to me the least, and the others at least had somewhat decent social standings that were crumbled by the swap. But in a tribe of 7 with 3 guaranteed votes against me, if you 3 wanted AP out, I'd have to roll with it, especially since I was running the risk of a flipped vote. Although I survived, I knew that Ceekay bonding with literally everybody in the room except for me was going to be a thorn in my side for the entire game. I would never be her #1, and there would always be at least 2 people she'd be willing to save over me.

Come the Needle Pit/Pig Vat split, as I was expecting a merge at F13, this also led me to believe a Pagonging of the Needle Pit was inevitable after Jordan was gone. By this point, the fact that I was starting 60% more conversations was also starting to stick out like a sore thumb. And then the Bucket Heads tribal. Apparently you found it stupid that I was throwing votes? To be honest with you, I was doing that as insurance. I only planned that because I was quite concerned about Nyte voting Aiti, which I didn't want. Obviously I was concerned about a potential vote against me, but I felt as though the bonds that I had with all of the players in the room were enough to at least keep 2 of them on my sides. As for you being annoyed that I threw votes, let's just say that I didn't want to be idoled out. I always throw votes as insurance, but in my case, it was also to sell the illusion that I was out of the loop.

At the merge, I had realized quickly that I had been sending you lots of information, but not getting much in return. It was at this point in which I was very concerned about you potentially running the game. Earlier, I had known that I wasn't Mario's #1. Both of us thought the other was tight-knit with Swump, then it was obvious that he was closer to you and Astro over me, and of course, his having been part of the move that got rid of Katy. He was a threat, but I could not afford to flip on him until F06 (ironic, isn't it). The Dumb vote was pretty straightforward. As for the Nyte vote, I had cherry-picked my words once again: I didn't say "Fisher, Asier, and [someone else I forgot but I think it was Astro] are all voting you" to him; instead, I told him "that combination of 3 is not going to save you". Once it became clear that Nyte had dug his grave all too far, I locked in the parchment I had made with his name on it. Toku's elimination was also straightforward - but I'll be blunt and say that I'm surprised that Goober and Ceekay jumped ship as easily as they did, because all they needed was 1 flip.

Then, the Asier elimination. This one was a pain in the ass. I noticed you had said I was pulling the mental health card, and to be honest, I feel like the words got lost in translation: during the vote, when I had written up plans to say Ceekay stole my vote, part of it was crying crocodile tears. I said "breakdown", but I think the word "mental" was added in for no apparent reason. Either way, it shouldn't have gone that way, and it's my 2nd biggest regret of the game (1st being not clarifying the Ceekay paragraph). By that point, I had no social game, but I figured I had to take a risk. I went for you because, in all honesty, I was certain you were ready to cut me within the next 2 rounds, and I decided that I had to take the first swing if I wanted to have a chance at making it to the end (forget winning, who is able to do that).

At F08, I was once again left out of the plan to go for Goober (kinda). I just wanted him out because he was my closest competition threat, and he had been bonding with the others quickly. By this point, despite all the brushing off I claimed to have done, I was certain that a large alliance existed which was partially being used to get me out of the game. I'm sorry, but there were too many consecutive Needle Pit eliminations for me to believe any of the lies.

```Dollipop (evac) NP
Jordan NP
Katy PV
Earl NP
Diego NP
Dumb NP
Nyte NP
Toku NP
Asier NP```

With 1 in only 9 eliminations being from the Pig Vat, I knew from the moment that Toku was targeted over Goober and Ceekay that there was an alliance without me in it. What frustrated me the most is that I was never going to be able to break the alliance. I have a history of being killed by alliances that are very tight and manage to spin everyone against me.

At F07, I had been living through the 5th stage of grief (acceptance) for almost the entire game. After I made the blunder of purchasing the manila folder, I was clearly not going to win the donation challenge. You shooting me just confirmed what I already knew: that I was doomed to another 6th or 7th place. Funny thing is, my plan was to donate 7 L before being shot by you. So even without the shot, I wasn't going to win the challenge. With the vote coming around, I knew that 106 paynuses was not a functional chat because I was still starting all the conversation there. Sadly, I had no choice but to go with it. The biggest disappointment wasn't being told upfront that I was getting eliminated (because I already knew it), but the fact that nobody wanted to talk to me because they thought I was close to Mario, who, wouldn't you know it, was also plotting my demise. Having gone through the 5 stages of grief once more, I just told everyone who messaged me (Mario, you, Trophy Wife) that there were plans they needed to make to finish the game as a winner:

- I told Mario that he needed you out to win, since you would be his biggest competition (until you proved me wrong because it seems like you were too far down into his pocket)
- I *also* told Mario that the nonaggression pact he made with Ceekay had an unwritten expiration date: the next round. I still don't see what the point of keeping a big threat over someone who had no chance to win was (because I could just be kept out of the vote by literally **everyone**)
- I told Trophy Wife that Mario had said you were in his pocket, and that, putting it simply, I thought that voting me off was a big mistake (rightfully so, because everyone she tried to rally against Mario was voted off in succession because her side basically did what the Mausoleum did with Swump - vote off a number who was willing to work with them). Despite this, I told her that she needed to play hard, and that I'd be rooting for her to win.
- Obviously, I was kind of peeved that you weren't playing to win as Goober said, but obviously, I was still in the anger phase of grief. But at the time, I was willing to talk to you more after the game ended, because at that point, you weren't as bad as the others in terms of non-game bonds.

With all of that out of the way, the sting of being voted out still came (the depression phase of grief), but I wasn't going to hold grudges like that. It was true that I wasn't a fan of publicly calling out everyone, and you can ask Koda about my final words from my previous ORG. I knew there was nothing I could do to gain power in the game. And I've already come to accept it. I may not have had good game relationships, but I focused on the non-game after it all ended. Being in this weird relationship (not romantic, but just friendship, if you will) with Mario and Aiti, since the latter felt betrayed by the former in their speeches, was one of the weird moments, since I had to juggle the fact that I didn't think Aiti's game was the best with the fact that Mario's cockiness was unjustified.

In terms of the FTC, I wasn't lying when I said all options were on the table. Any of the 3 finalists could have earned my vote. Your answers, although they were good, were unfortunately not enough to convince me that you had played the best game. The other thing is that I believed Aiti owned his mistakes more than everyone else - though that wasn't really a high bar to clear, thanks to his competition.

Overall, I hope this clears up all the problems (or some of them) that you had with me during the game, and I apologize once more for anything I may have missed out on. I think everyone in this game was following the same theme of cherry-picked information in an attempt to gain trust, which kinda tied into my truth-and-lie system. But at the end of the day, if we're able to put the game aside, even if for a moment, we end up with a group of people who got along great, and we all enjoyed...

that magic moment.

Signed,
Jøsh994